Ho Ho Ho & All That Jazz

"On the 7th day of retail the Big Box Store gave to me..

7 types of coworker drama
6 hotdogs eaten
5 other crazy vendors
4 pies balancing on a fat lady's lap on a Hoverround complete with adult diapers held between her knees.
3 creeps a flirting
2 lesbians kissing
1 Buddhist monk buying a Taylor Swift CD....."


I haven't been around much because I've been working a seasonal job. I'm a rep for a luxury bedding company that was supposed to do a trunk show over the last few weeks in a upscale dept store. I've ended up being switched to a Big Box store before the sale even started.

And it's been hella weird, weird in just about every way you can imagine...

The set up was supposed to be that I worked 5 to 6 hours a day, all I am permitted by my doctor, selling this expensive bedding.. it didn't work out that way.

The other person working there was a gal named Trudy, who had sold these trunk shows before. Day after we started working our back to back 5 hour shifts Trudy's cousin or uncle or niece or someone she might be slightly related to died in a car accident. She was distrait, bereft even...so I agreed to work her shift and my shift that day and the next day so she could attend family visitation and the funeral. She offered to work all day Friday and Saturday for me so the hours would divide out to be fair.

Did this happen? Oh hell no. She neglected to show up or call and is currently not answering her phone or apparently picking up any messages. So I've been working 11 shifts back to back to back till tomorrow.

I could gladly smack Trudy around considering she's been acting like the C word since training, whining about the schedule demanding Christmas Eve off even if she's Jewish. I've been very laid back and bit back my tongue about all of this.

The owner of the company worked for me Sunday morning so I could go to church but he immediately hired Laura, my college aged daughter and today I trained her. She's more than slightly freaking out because she doesn't know the products well but I know she's going to do a great job.

In the middle of this the Creep That Hangs Around And Stares At Women got into some sort of dramatic encounter with the Vitamix lady. The cops were called and the rented brownshirted mall cops escorted him far far away. Plus we are both pretty sure the Pottery vendor is on drugs. Plus we've send some very freaky people showing up. People watching is so much fun even if most the people coming into the Big Box Store seem to be as joyful, happy and filled with the holiday spirit as Grinchs farts.