nor should it hurt to be a grownup either.....
Last week I interviewed and was offered at job at a nearby residential treatment facility for kids. Not just any kids, kids with pretty significant problems, that have suffered from mental illness or abuse that must be treated inpatient before the kids are ever considering placing any of these kids into foster homes or up for adoption. They do a great good work there and I've always admired the facility.
It's been years since I worked in social work in any capacity. I'm there to work records compliance so I'm not going to be in direct contact with the children. But they are every where you turn, riding bikes, walking up the hill, in the infirmary, you-name-it. And it breaks your heart, they smile and they wave. I've heard from visitors there and staff that many of the children are eager to be in a loving family and will ask if they can come home with you.
When I originally left the field it was because of burn out. I went to work at the national licensing office and burned out from that after leaving direct care. I'm anticipating since I have little contact with these kids burn out is not going to be such an issue. But getting used to business attire and office hours is a challenge.
I'm in orientation today and we were discussing various methods to resolve work conflicts and the types of uncomfortable situations there are. I said that in my life I kept my lists of people to forgive and taking offense at something/someone short.
The idea that it is within your own personal power as to who or what you will be offended by was a mind-boggling thought the first time I heard it preached from the pulpit at my old church. I could not understand how you could walk through life and not get mad at every slight or random assholery you encounter in your day to day living.
But, I've found, as much as I hate to actually admit I took anything positive away from poisonous old church, that this is actually a pretty good piece of advice to live by. I'm not perfect in my practice of it, being human and prone to going back to that old Cajun thing of 'I'll give you the shirt off my back and treat you decently till you screw me over. Then revenge will be mine! Muuuuhahahah!' *insert evil laugh while you craft up a bitchin' voodoo doll*
There are some big psyche benefits of not walking around pissed off at everyone and every blooming thing under the sun.
- Being offended or taking offense takes energy and you have to care. It's exhausting.
- Taking offense ties you emotionally to the person or the object of your ire. Like having a radioactive monkey on your back, it will just poison you eventually.
- Being offended requires you to take action against the source of the offense, even if the action is merely filing away the source in the dislike file of your brain.
- Being offended is a real buzzkill, popping up to take your mood from blissfull to shitty in an instant.
- You're instantly reminded of the original offense every single time the source appears in your life again.
- As time passes that offendedness of yours is like a snowball rolling along in a blizzard, it picks up weight, heft, gravitas. It grows and pops out at weird random times to shade things incorrectly and can cloud your judgment.
- It's like being in prison, you're not free, you're still dragging that six million ton snowball behind you.
Fancy that, I actually learned something useful and practical from Pastor Patrick!