Thursday, September 05, 2013

Irritation Morphs Into Pity

I am still working and working with the girl I call mentally Silly Little Girl now, instead of Ms. Stupid.

I feel sorry for her even as she kept talking about her bowel movements, periods, sexual peccadilloes, irritations with her fellow AA members and other stuff in way too much detail. I really never wanted to know that much about anyone's pooping problems plus for bonus points I know I dropped a pile of files when she told us the number of guys she'd slept with when she was having substance abuse problems. She shocked me more than once today.

So what switched me from scorn to pity? Just the fact knowing what mental illness she's been diagnosed with and is on seven different meds for combined with watching people deliberately taking advantage of her giving nature and dingbattyness.

Today, in the middle of the work day, one of the guys from AA calls her up and asks her to please put fifty dollars in his band account so he doesn't over draw. She vaguely knows this guy and just told him she was busy with work and couldn't help him out right then.

All of us in the room started asking her about this, why a semi-stranger was asking for money and telling her to not to even consider it. She started to share what the people at AA have said and done around her. We ended up telling her that there's some serious boundary violations occurring around her and she must tell those that trespass that they have overstepped their bounds. Tell them what they ask/say is inappropriate and to knock it off.

I don't think it had ever occurred to her before that it wasn't just rude, it was inappropriate and it was okay to tell people it was wrong.

I'm curious now to see what happens if she puts into practice that she has boundaries and standards. Go, go, go Silly Little Girl and turn into Wise Woman, please! 

It was a good reminder that I shouldn't automatically judge people quickly, but I should look deeper and see what's actually going on with them. Reminds me of a Post Secret postcard I saw once that says if you knew the secrets others carried it would break your heart. Lot of truth to that.

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