Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Rank and File(ing)

I am so glad the weather has taken a turn for the cooler.

Why? My office is in the basement and we have precisely one air vent for a long L-shaped office. Which means we're crammed in there, like middle aged sardines, with three ladies of a certain menopausal age, with very little cool air coming out of that lone sorry air vent.

Today was almost bearable everywhere in our dungeon, everywhere but the file room, which happens to be what we're working on right now, correcting all the mistakes getting everything ready for that blasted government audit that might not take place now that the government is shut down.

The only real problem with inadequate air conditioning in the joint besides us ladies sweating like a whore in church is our lone man worker. He's a very odd duck, extreme nerd right down to his Star Trek coffee cup on the desk and model of the USS Enterprise sitting on the shelf overhead. He wears a jacket, even in the hottest of weather, a olive green old jacket, over Hawaiian print shirts. Add in the eau du cigarette smoke since he is always slipping out to smoke.

I'm not trying to be mean, it's just......    the second he takes off that jacket everyone in the office almost faints from the insane amounts of body odor and smokey coming off him in waves. Goats, limburger cheese, stink bugs and dirty feet smell better than this guy.

The question we keep pondering at work is how to deal with it. No one is even sure how the boss tolerates him in her small office for meetings without fainting. It's seriously that bad.

The office is too small to anonymously put a bar of soap and some deodorant on his desk with his name on them. I wonder if they make Star Trek branded soap and deodorant, that might be the only acceptable way to gift him some unstinkum.

We are all too grossed out for it to continue much longer.

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