Friday, December 06, 2013

Turf Wars

One of the things about religious organizations and charitable organizations is that most everyone is involved at some point in a turf war. Today I've run into all sorts of verbal peeing to mark territory, and it wasn't anyone at church, or my old church.

Thank you flying spaghetti monster that today is Friday because I'd be sorely tempted to tell someone off using colorful vulgarities if I had to come in tomorrow to work and play nice with the immature adults here.

At my old church it seemed to be the person marking their territory the most was the pastor's second wife and her brown nosing buddies. Suggest something different and you'd be shot down. But.. if you were known to be good at something you'd be saddled with that chore foreves. Even if you didn't consider it your turf or territory.

Which is how I found myself hosting baptism for a good many years, till the year I became dreadfully sick with pneumonia in mid summer and had a hard time kicking it only to find myself appointed to host baptism again at our pool. I tried to get out of it, but the pastor's wife kept on insisting I do it because I 'do it every year and have a pool at the clubhouse'

That summer Sunday after church after I had schlepped over every towel I owned along with a mountain of snacks and a cake I was so sick I had to lay down on the sofa in the clubhouse party room, laying on a mound of cushions at a roughly ninety degree angle trying to breath between the asthma and the pneumonia recovery.  The pastor walked in, took one look at me and asked "Are you sick?"

Uh, dumbass, what was your first clue?

No, I didn't say that but I thought it. I told him that just because I had hosted baptism for the last six years didn't mean I wanted to automatically host it again. He was puzzled and asked why I was hosting it this year. "Because your evil control freak of a wife insisted I do what she wanted, not what was best for me because she really doesn't give a shit what is best for me, only what she wants. She wanted an indoor pool, enough pastel baptism decorations and crepe paper to choke a bishop and CAKE, CAKE, FREAKING HALLELUJAH CAKE and for bonus fucking points she didn't want to do it for herself."

Again, I didn't say that, I thought it, but I only said that because others assumed I would do it the task was automatically assigned me, but this was the last year. Next time ask me first, don't just assume I'll do it.

Yes, I finally learned in that community to stand up for myself when others wanted more than I could give. It was one of the first little hints that I wasn't going to keep drinking that koolaid like a good little cult member.

Today at work there was all sorts of marking territory but no assigning of duties. I tried to offer to help out different departments that I know needed some help while I was doing the same damn assignment type of the executive office only to be shot down by being told that it was 'part of their job description' so I needed to butt out.

For reals, I am not after anyone up there's job. I wanted to help out on a slow day so I would stay busy in a way that helped the place run smoothly. It doesn't make good sense, economic or workwise, to assign four different people to do the same task in bits when one person could make short work of it. I guess everyone is just busy hanging on to their own little fiefdoms like they were are church. You there, do communion prep, you greet and you make sure you collect the dough.

Near quitting time I got an email telling me I could no longer go to the nurses station and get allergy pills or aspirin or bandages. I've asked for benadryl twice this week when I was so sick with allergies that my eyes tried to swell shut when the work crew pulled up the flooring and exposed the mold beneath. The bandaids were for the time I tripped on the sidewalk and skinned my knee up. WTF is the point of having HR tell us to go to the clinic when we need something medical if they are going to bitch about every aspirin and bandaid you use in the course of your job?

The worst bit happened when I asked if those of us not working tomorrow could come on campus to see the kids put on a holiday performance in the gym. Most of those kids have no one coming from home to watch them sing and act and I like to support them as much as possible. Especially now that I know and love many of them. You'd think this would be a no-brainer.

I was told no and the reason is the dumbest of all. The cafeteria was only preparing refreshments for so many people and that meant anyone not working could not show up to see the kids sing. Huh? I don't give a hoot about having weak punch and cookies like cardboard at all. I just wanted to see the kids. The head of the cafeteria is the one that came up with that. Peeing again.

But it's not all cranky marking of territory and assigning tasks. I did hear through my friends that Mr. Stink Bug helped Big Red pack and move. She did take a job in Vermont after being kicked to the curb at work. Stinky took the rest of the week off to help her move, driving the truck up to the Stowe area. I admit I am intrigued. Why would you do this for someone that treats you like three inches of pig crap? Makes me wonder if all the folks talking about them having an affair are right after all. Oooph! That is not a mental image I want in my mind~! Keep that territory.

I'm going to try to destress with a cup of hot cocoa and a new book of conspiracy theories on the death of JFK. Good times!

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