Saturday, November 30, 2013

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On

Thanksgiving Day turned out to be pretty darn wonderful! We spent the day with our two youngest kids Andy and Laura plus assorted boyfriend/girlfriend. Everyone cooked several somethings, the food was delicious and pretty much everyone needed a nap after lunch. We came home late still stuffed.

But while I was there I heard about the bipolar relative that lives nearby and the struggles they've been having with their daughter.

Last month they (bipolar family) invited us to their home in Northern Virginia to have a family reunion type Thanksgiving tomorrow, Saturday. But I'd turned down the invitation, saying that we had decided to do the low key close to home thing.

Listening to Laura speak of these relatives I sighed and realized that Jim and I really needed to go over to their post-Thanksgiving thing, if for no other reason than to make sure things weren't too bad or see what we could do to help out.

So I called this morning, asking the lady of the house if it was too late to add two more guests, asking what they needed brought for the meal. Then I got an earful. Accusations, statements with no basis in reality, she even said something not so nice about Jim!

I tried to be sympathetic, say the right things, be supportive of her, but it was just downright awkward as hell! She told me that I was welcome to come but I could not bring my husband. Told her I would not be attending after all since I didn't want to add to her stress levels.

Jim's done nothing, in fact I think it's at least six months since the last time he even saw that family. It's all very secret squirrel and sort of out there. Dealing with mentally ill relatives isn't easy. I really believe based on the conversation that the lady of the house likely is having medication issues and probably needs to be inpatient somewhere until the right chemical cocktail kicks in.

At first I got all amped up by what was said and happened, to the point where I was making plans to go to her house this evening and try to talk some sense in her... but I found myself suddenly drained, like I usually do when the drama is in high gear. I decided the most sensible course of action for me was to do as the Jimmy Buffett song I love the most says, breathe in, breathe out, move on. Excellent advice. I also passed out and took a long nap and felt better for it.

I realize it's not my job to make sure her meds are stabilized or that she sees her therapist. I can't 'fix' her so being stressed out by what she says is just silly. I think I'll wait for her to contact me again instead of chasing after her to make sure she's alright.

You can't fix other people, only yourself and your reactions.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Turkey Blues

Yesterday was like a big joke that the cosmos was playing on me.

Get to work just in time to get told that we were being dismissed for the week in about an hour. Now I know I was going to have to leave quickly to make my tests and doctors appointment but damn, I need every tiny pathetic hour of work I can get in the buildup to Christmas. Bummer.

Get home early at loose ends and decide to tackle the mountain of laundry and go ahead and bake the pies and cake I'm bringing to my daughter's today. Promptly burn the first pie and lose steam in making any more. Looks like the thermostat in my oven has died.

Go out to buy pies between a pulmonary function test and that doctors appointment. Get in line at the grocery, check out and discover my freaking wallet is missing. Rush home to find it had fallen out of my purse and behind the sofa. Rush back to finish the pie purchase.

My doctor does a thorough physical of me because I've been wheezing and using my nebulizer more than a stoner reaches for his favorite bong. I am pronounced as fit as I ever am, low blood pressure, strong pulse, and other good indicators and doctor tells me all of his pulmo patients are struggling to breath because of the screwed up weather. Just wait and it will pass. Grrrr.

The sky spit sneet while I was out driving around. Sneet, that cross between sleet and snow where the ice pings on your car and tiny icy snowflakes drift around. As a result everyone in town started losing their damn minds, driving more idiotic than ever, running red lights, speeding, running stop signs. People, get a grip. It's just snow and sleet that's melting the second it hits the ground.

And then I get home and decide it's the Best Day Ever!!! One of my buddies in Oz sent me a package of very Australian quilting fabrics and I'd received a book I preordered months and months ago and semi forgot about.

Amazing how a small thing can turn a crappy day to something wonderful! Plotting out my new quilt now. I usually get really cranky like this around Turkey Day because of the self-induced must dos and pressures and forget that there's really a lot to be thankful for. Today is a new day!

Happy Thanksgiving..

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Answering the Searches

Some of these searches make about as much sense as Pedro in Leroy Jenkin's cage.

I am noticing I've had some rather strange Google searches that lead people here so I'm going to answer a few of those queries....

Does Vaughn Ohlman beat his wife?

I don't know but I think the answer is likely no. Vaughn just doesn't strike me as 'that guy'. Go ask him at his page.

How do I get out of hot water?

If you've done something wrong, try to apologize and make it right. Or, if you're in a hot tub or a hot environment go to some place cooler.

Used Sanitary Napkin Fetish

Ewww!

How to twerk

Double ewww!

Razing Ruth fake

I don't know for sure. Visit this link and read to decide for yourself.




As The Residential Treatment Center Turns Addendum

I forgot to mention last night that Big Red also overheard Miss Tina talking about her possible adoption of one of the kids. The rules state you cannot work here and adopt one of the kids. If you adopt you must quit your job. Tina and her husband both work here.

So Big Red asks Tina about what she overheard and Tina tells her that if the adoption goes through she will be putting in her notice, not mentioning Mr. Tina's plans to quit at all.

What does Big Red do after telling Miss Tina it is all okay with her? Big Red goes to Mr Tina's supervisor and reports him for a variety of untrue things revolving around the possible adoption. Now both of them have been called up and reprimanded by HR.

 I had to call Big Red up from the executive building and request her old file folders for a project. She started to give me grief till she realized I had her on speaker phone in the admin office where all the passing big wigs could hear. The tone of her voice and attitude changed in an instant - sweet as pie and more helpful than a fawning lackey. I got my fifty old folders with no more crap.

Then Red publicly embarrassed Janey in front of the entire staff after hearing Janey make a short phone call to pay a bill. Janey took a short lunch just so she could do just that. Shortly after Big Red sent around an all staff email pointing out that you should not be using work phones to ever conduct personal business during work hours, even on your lunch hour and named Janey as a culprit.

I'm wondering if Janey is going to find herself moved to another dept on Monday morning but that's exactly the kind of stuff Big Red does. I hope for Janey's sake that they do. There are openings at the infirmary with Kris.

Oh how I wish I could match Big Red up with the other contender for the Asshole of the World award, Tom Smith. They would make such a lovely couple.

As The Residential Treatment Center Turns

I'm glad I experienced the gossiping, back stabbing, crazy, blame-shifting, self-righteousness of my leaving my old fundamental-evangelical church. It gives me valuable experience handling the irrational and mentally ill at work. Plus that ever popular game playing that is work place politics. I don't take the bait and indulge the game players. I keep my nose to the task at hand, or if it gets especially bad I make the popcorn and sit back to watch.

It's work griping, it's long, so you might want to ditch if you are busy... and it's not connected much to my spiritual journey except in the fact that I controlled myself enough not to beat down a supervisor or get much involved in the ugly stuff.

The last month at work has been office politics played with the seriousness of the contestants in that Hunger Games movie! Like it's a supreme battle with the victor winning the world and all its riches instead of just looking venial and vicious.

And here I was thinking the worst I had to worry about was the crazy gal asking me things like how to give a blow job and the little girl that runs around trying to masturbate in public. She's all of seven.

Oh no! That stuff is like a Sunday school picnic compared to the machinations of my ex-supervisor down in the dungeon of medical records.

Let me backtrack here. Back in mid August three of us were hired to help out with getting the paperwork ready for a government audit by a federal agency. We spent three weeks getting the school master files archive corrected before the three of us being sent to medical records to do the same there.

The other two ladies are somewhat younger than I. Kris is about ten years younger than I, she's black, and she has one of the worst life stories I've heard in a long while. Her ex husband faked his death to get out of charges that he robbed some place. She found out about the original charges and a lot of other illegal stuff he did only after his story hit the front page of the Washington Post. This all went down about three years ago. She promptly divorced him, but ended up losing their home to the FBI (I think) because he was also wanted on drug dealing charges. She lost her government job due to his arrest killing her security clearance. After the trial, losing everything and the general trauma of everything she's been through she's easing back into the work world.

I love Kris, she's pretty awesome.

The other lady I was hired with and have worked many hours with is Janey. Janey is also black, a single mom who's had her share of personal difficulties but is also a truly wonderful person I enjoy working with.

Once the three of us landed in medical records we were all glad that we'd not been split up as we all work well together. We all did what the supervisor Big Red directed us to do. But... it wasn't hard to see that Big Red didn't like Kris and I heard from one of the others in that dept, Mr. Stink Bug, that she didn't like blacks and had been sued and lost at her last position for racial discrimination against a black underling. Big Red started talking crap about Kris behind her back before calling up the HR dept and asking them to move Kris to another dept because she claimed that Kris was refusing to do as she asked and had an 'attitude'.

Kris didn't have any more attitude than anyone else there or talk as much as Big Red claimed. Kris worked as fast as the rest of us. It was true that she didn't always do what Big Red requested. The first time Big Red said something ugly about Kris I defended Kris, saying she was actually very smart and a hard worker.

Both Janey and I tried to warn Kris that Big Red was gunning to get rid of her and that if Kris wanted to keep getting the hours she needed to buck up, do everything Big Red asked and never talk back.

Around that same time I was told by Big Red that she wanted to hire me as a full time auditor and that would happen soon. It didn't happen and I heard later that she had no authority to hire for that position anyway. She still assured Janey and I that she would keep us working for the medical records division and try to get funding for official positions for us in that dept. Another lie it turns out.

I said nothing at work, just came home and grumbled to the husband about the liar I was working for and her ways of talking shit about everyone at the facility behind their backs. I did nothing, just did my job and said "Yes boss" for every request.

Kris ended up writing up therapy treatment notes for a therapist named Moe who could not use the computer to do his own because his hand was healing from being stabbed with a piece of glass by one of his patients. Janey and I, along with others, saw her do these reports, saw them printed out. Hell, I audited those reports before handing them off to Big Red so that they could be added to the archives filing.

Big Red still wasn't happy with Kris working in our building in one of the empty offices that Big Red had designs on taking to expand her own office. So Big Red made up more crap about Kris and Kris was told to report to the executive offices to work for Miss Carr. Kris refused because it was only 25 hours a week and she'd been hired for full time hours.

Two weeks pass and there's no work from Kris. Kris went to talk to the head of HR and found out what Big Red had told HR about her and had to be stopped from going to kick Big Red's ass. But once she calmed down she started working full time in the infirmary as the infirmary records auditor. She loves it because there's zero supervision. You show up, you do your job and you come into the office to help when they need extra help.

Two weeks ago Big Red comes into the office annex Janey and I are working in and instructs us to move all of our things because she's moving two other people to help with the archive auditing. There's just one problem, we had about the same amount of paper we were sorting on the two desks in there with about a couple of reams of paperwork. I told Big Red to give us an hour or so to get to a good stopping point to refile all this stuff and we'd be happy to move over and make room. Big Red's response was to say 'Never mind'

The next day I was in training and fell, breaking my right wrist and spraining just about everything there is to sprain. I don't go to work for a few days, following the doctors orders, plus I really don't like driving on heavy duty muscle relaxers anyway. No DUIs here.

When I do turn up again Big Red tells me I'm not allowed in the medical records office and that I've been reassigned to the Executive Offices and Miss Carr. I am surprised and trudge over the hilltop to the offices of Miss Carr, where I find I'm now pulling the daily behavior paperwork and reports, auditing it and filing it in the permanent files in the different children's dorm offices.

But when I am walking around the campus pulling treatment and behavior documents people I know keep asking me why I smarted off to Big Red so badly she had to fire me from her dept. I explain again and again I didn't smart off, I just said we needed an hour or so to comply with her request. I hear over and over that Big Red was telling everyone this and saying, "She complained she was uncomfortable so I'm going to make her even more uncomfortable by sending her to Miss Carr so she'll have to walk all over the campus and be really uncomfortable." I'm hot and want to beat down Big Red myself at this point.

I quickly realize I've been released from the dungeon, like Kris! No supervision, it's just assumed that I will do the job and do it well. I find I love walking all over the campus as it's one of the most beautiful farms you could ever see. I like the fresh air and the sunshine and interacting with the kids around the campus. I have side projects to work on if I get my basic work done and when I run out of the projects I decide to start going through the master files and making sure everything is correct. I love my job way more than ever and realize Big Red did me a big favor when she thought she was punishing me. My new supervisor is happy that I'm quick and accurate and able to see what needs doing and do it without being asked.

Since Kris and I are both auditing we sometimes go around together and work side by side in the dorms while crowing about having the best jobs at the facility.

Then yesterday happens. We're both working in a certain dorm, the same dorm that Big Red has her office in the basement and we hear crying and drama. Miss Treasure, one of the best sweetest therapists there is suddenly fired. Why? Because Big Red is claiming that Treasure is 18 weeks behind in therapy notes, which as I later discover is a huge lie because the master files I audit have her therapy reports up to last week. She's not behind. Today I point out to the folks in the executive office that Miss Treasures notes are not behind, that Big Red is seriously squirrelly and a racist. Don't know that it will do any good but I can prove the notes are up to date.

Later yesterday Moe, the therapist that Kris helped do all of his therapy notes for the last four months, comes into the office where Kris and I are working and starts having a meltdown because the notes Kris put together for him that I audited are missing. The files are erased off the server and the three inch thick piles of printed notes are not in the medical records archives files. He told us that he confronted Big Red about his notes missing from the files and she gave him many rude answers that weren't helpful before telling him to get out. Kris and I end up going to his boss and telling her that Moe did do the notes, Kris did them and saved copies on the server, I audited them, Miss Tina swears she filed them but now they are missing.

The upshot is that Kris and I are going to be working some overtime reconstructing his therapy notes and a big wig in the executive offices pulled the info on who did what on the server. The only one that accessed that file was Big Red's login and the file was erased by that login.

Me? I'm making popcorn, Kris is bringing the cokes and we're both sitting back to watch what happens next. I am hoping this means Big Red will be on the hotseat and likely be fired.

This is why you don't play political games and backstab at work. Karma comes around and if you're busy tearing others down you might be the one tumbling.

Big Red is not only riding her drama llama but she's watering it, feeding it, combing it's mane and rocking it to sleep. 

Did I also mention this is all taking place at a Christian charity?


Monday, November 18, 2013

Learning the Words: No

I've been thinking a great deal about the power of the word 'no'. It was something that wasn't in my vocabulary back in the days when I was trying mightily to be the perfect Fundagelical momma/wife/sister in Christ. Especially in the beginning.

After all, aren't you supposed to pour yourselves out as a blessing for others? A servant's heart. The way the scriptures read from a fundamentalist view you rarely have the right to say no to others if they are in need. Service, service, service. That old J.O.Y. - Jesus first, others second and yourself last in line. No matter what.

This weekend as I worked on a baby quilt for one of my daughter's many friends, baked breads, cookies and cupcakes for a CFC fundraiser at Jim's office, and I ignored my flared-up asthma it felt just like old times. Me rushing around toting that barge, lifting that bale while putting my needs on hold.

There was an enormous difference this time. While I was insane level busy like I used to be then, this time I really wanted to do those things. Laura's friend is someone I love dearly, whom I used to babysit occasionally back when she was two. Her mother abandoned her with various relatives and this girl is like another daughter to me. She's been part of my life for over twenty years. I'm making a baby quilt for her newest baby because she asked me if I would.

The baking? I love to bake but now that it's just Jim and I the baking is rare. Jim is in charge of CFC (Combined Federal Campaign - fundraising for charities) for his office and really enjoys his role. This year he's appeared on the CFC site promoting the program, been in one of the Washington Post publications and today's bake sale is going to be attended by the higher ups.

Both of these tasks are labors of love for me. Love for Laura's friend, love for my husband and the causes he is passionate about. I'm not expected or forced to do either, unlike my JOY years.

During the years when 'NO' was a dirty word I was busy from the time I got up until going to bed, busy meeting the expectations of others. No love there even as I was told this was loving others. Driving someone to chemo treatments, providing meals for those who were sick, cleaning the Pastor's house (yes, this really happened!), sewing forty costumes for a Christmas play, doing whatever was asked of me.

Inside I was sometimes seething but on the outside I appeared as if I were actually the calm, loving, gracious woman of God I was trying to be. In those days there was no time to sit outside on the lawn reading a book and sipping lemonade. No down time from the demands. After a while your mask slips and you explode. I did a few times in the safety of my own home.

Once we left our old church I started to realize I don't have to be saving the world before breakfast. That saying no to requests wasn't the end of the world. That what I needed the most was a huge time out from being busy all of the time.

Sometimes you have to put yourself first and if that means saying no sometimes, even to good things, then that's exactly what you'd better do.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Heard It Through the Sour Grape Vine

What is it about we humans that makes us such a gleefully gossiping bunch? I don't care what the circumstances are or the organization or the news, there will be gossip. Work, church, any group, whatever. Eventually someone is going to start talking about someone else to a third party.

Is it just to make ourselves feel better about our own lives or to shore up our own beliefs? So we can feel superior? Just to chase away boredom? Schadenfreude?

I freely admit I've been a gossiper, a gossipee and the subject of gossip. Where I work at there is oodles of gossip, sometimes disguised as patient information sharing, i.e. - "Little Johnette swallowed a big box of staples! Please follow her and make sure you have her defecate in a bucket to check for staples emerging." This facility wide email was followed by comments from various offices such as "Ouch, those are gonna hurt coming out" or "What? She couldn't get the stapler in too?" or "Get her to swallow a stapler remover and that oughta take care of the problem" followed by people in the various parts of the campus talking about this and joking about the incident. It's not that we're all cruel, I think this type of gossip and dark humor is a way to deal with the relentless assault of the abnormal happening around you on a daily basis. It's more healthy than bottling it up.

That type is just about the only type I engage in, sick work gossip, but there's another type that thrills me. It's not the one the world seems to love the best, celebrity gossip. There's no way I would ever be fascinated by the peeing in a mop bucket doings of Justin Bieber or speculations on what Kim Kardashian's butt is stuffed with. It's gossip about the world of self righteous fundamentalists and evangelicals.

Many times that gossip is either right or holds a kernel of truth. Look at what's happening now in the world of speculation about what it was that Vision Forum's Doug Phillips actually did. Doug has even issued two different statements contradicting each other. First he said the affair was emotional, now he says there was physical contact. So, which is it? Did he sleep with her or not?

When the news first came out one blogger speculated that the affair was more than emotional and that it was likely the family nanny was the other part in this drama. I posted that this morning at NLQ and some folks didn't like it so I took it down for the interests of site unity. But.....  Joe Sands of Incongruous Circumspection and I are both posting that this is very likely. Really, who else in the super patriarchal world of Vision Forum would Doug have access to another female. We all know the VF is the Boys Club so his options for female companionship is extremely limited.

So in the meantime while the others are tutting not to make assumptions you'll find myself, Joe and a few others starting to make popcorn, set up the deck chairs and assemble the beer and ice for the wait till the truth comes out.

On a smaller fundy scale I ran into the college student daughter that used to be my homeschooling art student. The one who's parents scammed a former member of our old church out of twenty grand, used people for what they could gain all the while acting like the most perfect fundies on the planet? Turns out Daddy was hit by a car going to work one morning, in the parking lot of his job, so now his daughter was busy braying that it was their personal Golden Ticket because Daddy broke bones and was suing both his job and the driver for making him incapacitated. They are expecting a huge payment for damages from Daddy's workers comp policy. Still scamming and saying it is the provision of the Lord.

And this is the valuable service that gossip provides in the world of scamming in the name of religion. It makes the scammers very easy to spot so that the rest of us can avoid them.

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Christian Adoption?

I'm beginning to wonder about the wisdom of adoption, who gets to decide and how so many less than suitable parents happen to end up adopting. But mostly how people that call themselves good Christians that oppose abortion and say that adoption is the way don't adopt the kids out there that need it the most.

The Religious Right, like the Duggars and many others, oppose abortion fervently, using all sorts of made up facts and logic to push their agenda, yet once a child is born it's on it's own. No help for children born in poverty and less than optimal home situations. It's all about birthing that baby and nothing beyond. Way more cruel in my eyes.

Not that I am advocating abortion here. While I believe it's everyone's personal choice it's a choice that I would never make. Everyone has to decide on their own.

There's a girl at work who will be released as soon as they can find an adoptive family for her. I love this little girl, she's smart, she's worked the program till she has morphed into someone considerate and loving with high grades at the community school. She comes out of the worst abuse you could imagine and the courts have severed all parental rights.

Yesterday as I was coming out of one cabin she stopped me, eager to show me her last month's worth of tests, all A's and A pluses. Such a sweet soul that gravitates to those of us who are mothers on campus, just wanting a touch of motherly love, attention and affection. I tried in my short ten minutes to give her that, since she needs it so badly. Anyone adopting her would have to have the time and focus to keep pouring love and attention on her all of the time.

Here is where that becomes problematic. She's of a race that isn't usually as adoptable plus she's not cute or pretty. She has to have surgery soon for what is likely to be a type of cancer. She's likely to have special needs in the future. She's twelve years old.

Let's face it, in our culture looks are always factor, even if they shouldn't be. Breaks my heart to know that people might bypass her because of something she cannot control and miss a wonderful child that needs a family so badly. Add in the medical needs and she'll be passed over for adoption again and again. No one seems to want an older child, just a cute little baby.

In the eyes of the evangelicals she's not worth it.

I wish so badly I could adopt her.

Sunday, November 03, 2013

Outing Myself

This weekend I've had more than a few folks 'warn' me that someone very curious was sniffing around trying to 'out' me. Curiosity killed the cat, in this case it's going to bore them to death.

That someone is trying to waste their time investigating me, me who has never tried to hide who and what I am, where I am etc. makes me laugh so hard. So I'm going to make it simple on them and 'out' myself. Save you the trouble.

There's nothing to hide but here it goes.

My first name is Suzanne but anyone cruising over to NLQ would figure that out in a heartbeat as well as my last name with it's semi-filthy first syllable. One look at my Facebook shows you exactly where I live and other facts such as I was raised in South Louisiana, attended school in Baton Rouge, Louisiana before marrying and moving to Europe and then the Greater Washington DC area.

My husband works for the federal government in DC and is listed various places online, such as the Who's Who in the administration and other joints. You can try calling him or emailing him to complain what a huge big meanie I am or accuse me of various and sundry crap but he'll just laugh. He's had to deal with some lunatic stalkers of mine in the past. In fact, my mother, my brother in law and my mother in law have all be contacted and told how they think I am and the family has laughed.

We have three kids, one married with kids and successfully self employed. A son working in a non-profit and a daughter short one semester graduating from George Mason. Yeah, yeah, they know what a meanie-bo-beanie I am. Even the one that nearly died from ITP.

I'm borderline crazy cat lady with three cats and two birds, down from an all time high of 12 cats and about 15 birds. I don't do drugs, I rarely drink and I love to cook, sew and paint. I hate to clean. When I was a young woman I have tried to smoke, shoot, snort and rub into my belly all sorts of substances. I was also in a band in my early twenties. I still sing in public sometime for various religious events/services.

I don't get high because I end up looking like this photo taken the day after I had my arm reconstructed ten years ago. I'm flying on pain pills and feeling as goofy as a person can get in that photo. Looking like my late father here..

I drive an older Buick and live in a three bedroom average suburban type house. I also own rental property and a large tract of land off the interstate in Louisiana that I inherited from my late father. I work at a childrens residential treatment center plus I admin and post up at No Longer Quivering. There are people still annoyed when I used to make fun of the crazy antics of the American Idol fans at Free David Cook and the long defunct Idletard. Sic mundi gloria transit Idletard, how I miss the fun there~

The Adam Lambert and David Cook super fans have beaten everyone to digging about me and coming up with some of the funniest personal speculations ever. Outdoing them in the outing sweepstakes is going to take some doing. 

My life is pretty happy without much in a way of hardships, except for my crazy asthma. I have friends, hobbies and places to be and things to see. Yeah, I like to bitch about my husband sometimes when he does something bone headed. It's as simple as that. I haven't scammed anyone on the internet out of money. I don't claim to be 'special' or the Queen of this or that. 

I've been following the drama about Razing Ruth and all I can say is that if the woman you're naming is the same as Ruth then there is something very weird and emotionally unhealthy going on. Who uses their kids illnesses like that besides a mentally ill person? The use of the kids by the person named disgusts me. Jury is still not completely out in my mind on this issue but I am fascinated. Reminds me of what a friend of mine dug up on a similar fake named L. Anne Carrington. Lying liars have a hard time keeping their lies straight and are usually outed by their own words. I don't worry too much about them.

If you feel the need to stalk me this is what I look like now. But usually I'm not wearing a cat like this.


Happy Stalking!

Friday, November 01, 2013

Halloweenie Surprise

I am starting to believe that God or the universe or maybe even the Flying Spaghetti Monster has put me in my new employer for a specific purpose. To listen to and give advice on the relationships of all the twenty and thirty somethings I work with. They all tell me their problems and usually I have something to say on that particular subject.

It's puzzling to me why so many great young ladies are putting up with scads of bad behavior in relationships. Has the world changed so much that immature and dysfunction is the new norm?

It all started with the little twerking girl when she started talking about how her steady guy kept forgetting his wallet every time they went to eat or to the movies. She would end up paying and he never paid her back. Top that off with him constantly texting on his cell during their dates and it was pretty clear this guy was a creeper, not a keeper.

Janey and I have given out hours of advice to Twerker, telling her she should drop him like the user and loser he was. Twerker did and I had to laugh when I saw how she did it, via a text message. Ha. This modern world we live in.

Yeah, yeah, so I know none of this is professional appropriate business behavior but if you're stuck in a stuffy office for hours on end endlessly auditing medical paperwork you have to entertain yourself somehow.

We've talked to her about respecting herself, not sleeping with every idiot at AA that possesses a penis, not responding to every guy that flirts with her, but I'm not sure it's not falling on deaf ears. This week's crisis was her rushing in asking for a tutorial on how to give a blow job. I had to ask the why of course, she said she'd met this guy that looked like Ryan Gosling and she had to make him fall in love with her this weekend and since her period would not end she was going to have to give him blow jobs till he fell in love with her.

Why this weekend? Apparently his baby momma is moving to town next week and Twerky wants him to be hers, all hers, with nothing to do with his offspring and baby momma. I sighed, slapped myself in the forehead and started to tell her why he wasn't worth having in the first place and that magical blow jobs don't always make a man fall in love with you. He's not special enough for special favors and it's way too quick to be handing out sexual favors. Respect yourself and make him work to get you, not the other way around.

She still wanted to know the goods on blow jobs and frankly, I was sort of shocked that she'd admitting to sleeping with over 500 guys and no oral sex was involved. This isn't the fifties.

My advice: "Your mouth is there, his junk is there, there's no really right or wrong way to do it."
Janey: "Don't bite his penis"

Speaking of biting something yesterday I bit the pavement. Tripped on the broken asphalt in the employee parking lot and ended up with a broken wrist, the other wrist sprained along with an elbow and assorted bruised, scraped, bleeding and hurting parts. I missed my beloved Trick or Treat and spent the evening in the hospital ER. At least I got good drugs out of it. Gonna need them to hear the latest romance problems of the young and foolish.

Next week my task is to work more on Twerky and pals, but particularly Twerky, to realize you don't have to shell out sex to guys you just meet. Specially if you're looking for the long term.