Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Antics of Former Church Members

Hard to believe this is still a thing in modern society
One of the few advantages of living in a small Southern town is when members of your former church do stupid things you get to hear about it in nauseating detail ad nauseum.

One of my friends from the old church I'm still friends with, Leanna, who was also harassed by those at Possum Creek till she left along with others. Last week she shot me an IM asking me to pray for her. She's my age and she's not worked outside of the home in a very long time. She was getting ready to work for a mutual acquaintance that had a small printing company and Leanna wanted prayer that she'd be able to work full time again and handle her house and animals without having any more problems with her arthritis and other physical ailments.

Leanna has prayed for my various ailments that make it hard for me to work full time outside of the home for a couple of years now. We still regularly pray together. Plus we're able to be real with each other. I was telling her today that I was so done with sermons, completely over hearing anyone else's interpretation of the Bible. I'll read and form my own opinions, thank you very much!

Leanna was feeling very inadequate going into this job and she ended up only working a total of four hours. Why? Because Mrs. 5 by 5, the former church secretary (I sometimes refer to her as Mrs. Bz Body) who's office was gossip central at the Creek, also was working for this printing company along with another Creek gossip queen. They'd been ground central in getting Leanna out of the church, gossiping, cursing her out, slandering her, you name it, till Leanna and the other half of the church left. Then the tables turned on Mrs. 5 by 5 and she was given the same treatment, her and her family driven from the Creek.

Turns out as soon as Mrs. 5 by 5 and her pal heard that Leanna was coming on board to take over all the admin duties and data entry starting that morning that both Mrs. 5 by 5 and her minion left, quitting without giving any reason. I know it was because they hate Leanna.

Mr. Peter, the owner of the printing company found out after they left that Mrs. 5 by 5, her son and her pal, had been stealing from him once he tried to get into the books to start training Leanna. Because now he was short handed in the printing room and Leanna's husband is going into a slow time in his job Mr Peter asked if Leanna's husband wanted to come to work to help out with the printer jobs. Mr. Peter called in his retired wife, Miss Nancy to help he and Leanna go through the books and receipts to see if they could make sense of it.

By the end of the four hours Mr. Peter ended up sending Leanna home because he was going to have to bring in the accountant to see what was happening. Mr. Peter told Leanna that he'd call her in a few days to let her know when she and her husband could show up for work.

Turns out the thievery was so bad and the books so bungled that now Mr. Peter and Miss Nancy are going to have to work for at least six months with taking no pay in order to get the business back on stable financial ground. He cannot afford to pay Leanna to work for him. So she's out of a job, courtesy of Mrs. 5 by 5.

The whole time that Leanna is relating this tale she's begging me not to hold it against Mrs. 5 by 5 or be bitter at all towards that woman. Besides, she said, Mr. Peter is not going to have her prosecuted, in fact, he's forgiven her.

I have to say it. Mr. Peter is a fool! Mrs. 5 by 5 has a long reputation of workplace shenanigans and gossiping. She should be prosecuted! She's just about killed his business!

What he needs most is a good forensic accountant to sort all of this out and expose what she's done this time.

None of this changes my initial impression of the lady. My inner warning bells started going off just about the time she joined the church and morphed into super control freak mode.

My own history with Mrs. 5 by 5 goes way back to when she first joined out old church and she started campaigning to be the church secretary. She also took on the responsibility of organizing the high school senior honors banquet and all sorts of other thankless volunteer tasks.

The first time I ran afoul of her was when Jim and I had taken our turn providing the post-church refreshments. After everyone left we scrubbed up and left platters and other church dishes drying on the drain board only to get an angry phone call from Mrs. 5 on Wednesday night demanding we come back down to church and 'clean up our mess' right now!!!!

We got to the church and yes, there were a lot of dirty dishes and plates, but I pointed out to Mrs. 5 that we'd not used those things and that all the stuff we did use was still drying. Mrs. 5 started screaming at me, all insults and demands and I walked off lest I say something to her that I would regret.

Weeks later she came to me to say how sorry she was. Turns out there was a teen meeting on Tuesday night and all the dirty dishes and food grime was left from that. But in my mind the damage was already done since she's loudly shared with many people that she thought I'd not cleaned up after refreshments and she made no move to spread the word that some other group had done it. After that I always had to deal with random church goers reminding me to make sure I cleared up after refreshments and not do what I'd done before, which I hadn't done.

One thing she did that I did have fun sitting back and watching the consequences of was that she tried to enroll her daughter Mini-5 in the local Jr. Junior League. She wanted Mini-5 to be a debutante here in this small Southern town.

The funny of it was that Junior League here doesn't work at all like it does on Long Island, New York, where she's from. I heard through the grapevine that she made numerous attempts to join and didn't realize there wasn't one lady who is a part of that organization that was going to allow her entry. She doesn't have the correct pedigree, isn't part of the right social class, and as obnoxious as she is I could see that the local Old Guard would freeze her out for being in their view, a loud uncouth Yankee without manners.

The guardians of the Old South can be brutal.

They were to her, not actually banning her but making Mini and her so uncomfortable that they finally got the hint. She was upset and moaned about it quite a lot. It didn't help when she found out that Laura had been asked to join without me having to do or say a thing. I said no, because while proper manners are a good thing Laura already knew what fork to use and how to handle social situations without being part of the Cotillion.

Laura had no desire to do it, but one of her friends mother was the head of the local organization. That was the reason behind the invite, that and the fact that I'd been a member years ago. I absolutely hated it, but my mother forced me to go. In my day there was way too much snobbery and social class exclusionary hi-jinks going on. It was a giant drag in my mind. I hated wearing that stupid crinoline to learn how to waltz (which I understand they don't do any longer). I hated the over the top manners. I hated the tea dances. I hated the small talk. I just wanted to stay home and read or listen to music. To introverted me it was torture. Actually, no, I would have welcomed physical torture over Junior League shenanigans.

I'm glad Leanna shared with me what happened, because it means I must really avoid going to the local Starbucks now. Mini-5 has been bugging me to hire her to clean my house and do some painting of trim and I've waffled on it, saying maybe. The reason I haven't wanted to hire the girl, even if I like her, is that I don't want the mom anywhere near me or knowing anything about my family or me. If Mini starts pestering me I'm going to have to tell her I cannot hire her because of her loathsome mother.

This is why the unity of the body and forgiving someone that has wronged you doesn't mean you have to be in close fellowship with them. You're not called to martyr yourself for people that will hurt you again if they could. Forgive from a distance if you must, but do not allow these folks access into your life again.

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