Thursday, August 28, 2014

Eating Pancakes and Riding The Boob-Mangler 3000

Last Thursday I spent the day with my BFF Joanie. Friday was her birthday and she wanted to go out to IHOP to eat.

I love IHOP, but IHOP doesn't love me. After eating there I always stagger out feeling like I just consumed a ten pound brick of solid lard studded with Xanax. After eating there I am completely incapable of rational thought or action, wanting just to lay down without having to employ my brain or body. Someone suggested it was a blood sugar reaction, but I'm not entirely sure it is considering I have the same reaction there even if I eat, like this time, a hefty chunk of protein too.

When I gave Joanie her gift I was surprised when she burst into tears. I'd wrapped the package with some gift wrap I had leftover from another birthday and did up a pretty bow with left over ribbon. She told me her tears was because no one had taken the time and care to do up a pretty package for her since she was a child.

I was pretty surprised at that because I always assumed that most folks wrap their presents and take some care to make sure it doesn't look like a crackhead wrapped it. It wasn't some super special effort on my part. I guess you just never know what will touch someone.

Joanie in my living room with her present

I had fun putting this gift together. Months before I'd spotted a huge wineglass at a animal rescue fundraiser and ended up buying it. I filled it with bottles of bath oil, bath salts, lotions and a couple of packets of frozen drink mix. A relaxation package on a budget.

Was so glad to be away from the house on Thursday since that's the usual day Jim works from home. The problem with him working from home is the fact that he curses and carries on when his computer acts up or he has other problems with technology, like dealing with the CMS platform he uses for work. I get to hear him say "Goddammit" so many times in a day that I fear that at any moment a bolt of lightning is going to pierce the ceiling and fry my beloved into a crispy critter. 

He's been in a quite a bad mood for a few days so I spent most of the weekend quilting behind closed doors, while he chewed the scenery, cursed and rode his motorcycle. One of the challenges of being married is not being impacted by someone else's foul mood. Particularly when the mood is due to something you personally consider not worth getting worked up about. 

But not for much longer, last night was his first fantasy football draft of the season. This weekend brings a few more. I'm about to be a fantasy football widow until after the Superbowl. This is why I get the majority of the quilting I do done during football season.

Which would be good because this has been a sort of raw nerves week of trying to catch our accountant in the office, having an anonymous neighbor leave a nasty note on your front door about another neighbor that you are in no way shape or form connected with just because you sit on the HOA board, dealing with Jim's mother being in and out of the hospital again, dealing with my mother having issues again, finishing up clearing out the storage room and today's awful chore - riding the Boob-Mangler 3000, a.k.a the dreaded mammogram!

It's been awhile since I've had one and last time was awful. I don't know if getting your teat run through the mangler on an old-fashioned washing machine would have hurt worse or not. I was left with bruises for weeks. Not to mention last year when I had an ultrasound of my gall bladder and liver, after the test I had big purple bruises on my torso.

But this time it wasn't so bad. I made sure to scream out that I had Von Willebrands and had been bruised up badly the last few times and they handled me far more gently than usual. I'm sore but it's not too bad.

Now if the rest of my week could go so gently I'd be grateful.


Pandora said...

If it was lard, you'd probably not feel quite so bad. Unfortunatley, it's pure crisco! And margarine. Gross fake food that zaps one's strength. It's almost as bad as having a hangover!

Calulu said...

Well, that explains it! I eat clean most of the time and it figures it would have that kind of effect

theflaglady said...

The link to my photo has not been removed. I own the copy rights to this photo and will use my legal right remove your blog is necessary. Please remove within 48 hours. This is my site: which carries my photo that should be connected to my site which you have stolen to follow to your site.

Calulu said...

Look, I do not know what the fuck you expect from me! I removed your photo when requested because you said that was you in the photo. It's removed from the blog, I've been over that page and seen no links to anything of yours. I'm putting that page in draft, taking it offline, so I'm not sure what the fuck you expect out of me. Legal threats are not the way to go. I've removed it, there is no link to you so go pound some righteous sand up your ass, lady, but do not contact me again with your puling threats! FUCK OFF!

Calulu said...

The image has been removed from the blog, the photo archive connected to the blog and from the Picasa Blogspot stored the images in. It was not watermarked as copyrighted when I found and used it, so your claims or copyright are slim at best. I've removed/erased the post it was originally posted in. That's going to have to be enough for you because there's no further steps I can take to erase it. I suggest you give it a few weeks, erase your cookies before you search again. Another thing, wtf are you doing constantly searching for your own images? Is this some scheme to sue others for using your images or are you really that self-involved?

BTW I am not approving any more comments by you. Please go away.