Sunday, September 07, 2014

Changes

My son Andy came down for the day Friday. He's been having car trouble and the mechanics of Fairfax were trying to charge him nearly a thousand dollars for the work. Our mechanic here in Podunksburg charged five hundred and fifty dollars for the same thing.

So he was hanging around the house while they sorted out his car problems. We had a blast, went to lunch, dropped off a donation at the children's mental health facility I last worked at and laughed ourselves silly over the opening of the first ever traffic circle in this small southern town.

I'd been laughing and saying that the day of the traffic circle opening I was going to bring a lawn chair plus a thermos filled with refreshing adult beverages and sit in the parking lot of the McDonalds just to watch the driver confusion when confronted with this circle. "Big Ben, Parliament, guys!" straight out of "National Lampoon's European Vacation"

But I was busy with Andy, so we had to confine our traffic circle giggling to when we had to travel through it several times to run errands.

Huge signs before the circle read "Yield to traffic in the circle" What did most of the people driving in the circle do? Stop and let other cars in at each entrance to the circle. Slowed it down considerably.

Seems to be running smoothly now, but that first day there was a great deal of confusion. Just like there is for any change in life.

I changed the layout of my blog because of the changes I've been going through internally for quite some time now. I no longer believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. I also stopped keeping any sorts of secrets some time ago, what you see is what you get. Don't like what you're reading? Too bad. Leave. I'm not writing for an audience, I write to deal with the things going on inside of me. It's cheaper than therapy and I'm not forced to sit on that uncomfortable couch. My life is an open book, including my thoughts on the doings of others. Too many years I've repressed my thoughts.

If I was writing here to please others I'd write up comedic takes on life on inoffensive subjects daily. Life is messy, nasty, gross, weird and not so perfect. At least mine is. This blog reflects that.

Also, I have a hard time sitting through things at church like committee meetings, planning sessions, pot lucks, etc, and most especially sermons. I think I've heard enough sermons to last a lifetime, but mostly I've concluded I'm sick to death of hearing someone else's take on scriptures. My bullshit tolerance has ended. Which is why I'm now only involved in one thing at church, instead of being a five percenter.

Mostly I'm sick of others trying to stuff me in a box of their own expectations. That's over too.

As a result I fired my pulmonologist of the last 9 months for being very unhelpful by telling me I shouldn't feel frustrated by the lack of improvement in my lung problems. It's not her place to insist I control my feelings to line up with what she thinks I should feel. In the past 9 months she has only had two useful suggestions a) join the research projects at Johns Hopkins and b) join a chronic illness support group. That's it.

In the past I'd keep my mouth shut, my feelings to myself and play nice. That's ended. I own my feelings even when they piss off others.

Right now I'm in the middle of writing up a new comment policy to post on any Duggar-related posting at No Longer Quivering. I hate it, because telling others, strange others, how to behave is something I'd just rather not do. But a high percentage of commenters on the Duggar postings that scream out they are Christian either use obscenities or go right into personal insults to other commenters. 99% of them never make it through the comments to be posted. I police that.

Look for more changes than just the layout.

For the sake of clarity: When I am ranting about friends/foes/family here I do not use real names or even complete circumstances because I feel the need to vent but not to do any genuine harm to them in real life.

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