Saturday, May 09, 2015

Indigestion and Casseroles

Haven't been posting because life has been rather boring. I've been recovering from pneumonia, it's all codeine cough syrup, antibiotics and laying down when I don't absolutely have to run the dishwasher or washer dryer. As usual Jim is pissed with me because his simple cold of one week has turned into a three week ordeal of lung infection for me. He just doesn't get it how sick I am. My doctor said that the trip to Costa Rica put stress on my screwed up immune system and weakened it, resulting in this crap. Feeling better but my voice is still really screwed up.

Have only ventured from the house that isn't drug-obtaining or food shopping related exactly twice. Once to go into DC with Jim to watch the Nationals play with his coworker and friend Tom. We had a blast even if the day was rather warm. When I was off scoring a frozen margarita Jim was walking around the stadium. In his upper deck wanderings he ended up right behind a guy that caught Bryce Harper's third home run. Jim almost caught the ball. But I think he was more thrilled by being shown on ESPN and the news coverage of the game.

The other excursion took place last night to a picnic for Jim's Sunday School class. I figured it would be a good, not-so-threatening, way to see if I was still highly triggered by our mainstream church. Jim has been begging me to return even as I swore I would not. Here's what I discovered....

The people that had been Christians and part of the church for quite a while were fine, but the one lady and her friends who were new Christians who'd only been at our church a few years and part of the group involved with the mess over the worship leader and his wife made me almost sick with their behavior. 

The main culprit is also the main one that seemed to spearhead the snubbing of me and saying ugly things. This lady, and I use the term loosely, said all sorts of nasty things over the course of the picnic, revealing her lack of any maturity.

She started out talking about her love of wine and drinking, over and over again in such detail that finally the man studying to be a pastor had to explain to her that the Methodist church didn't approve of boozing it up.

Then she moved on to talking about the home group she leads, how horrifying it is, how hard, how much she hates it. She sometimes goes into the bedroom to have a quick glass of wine while it's going on in order to survive it. The main problem seems to be that she cannot remember where in the Bible scriptures are to refute what the others attending are saying. She copes with this tension by the secret drinking the bedroom, by texting her friends about how 'awful' it all is and by complaining about it.

If there's one thing I know about it's awful home groups. The last two years of our time at the old church Jim and I were the local home group leaders. Which meant my personal bete noire, Tom Smith and his wife, were frequently in my face at home group. I didn't like it much, but handled it, I dealt with it without complaining to anyone more than my own husband. I didn't run and hide, I didn't drink, I didn't text my friends to whine, I pulled up my big girl panties and dealt with it!

This is a fifty year old woman we're talking about behaving like this, not some twenty-something out on their own trying to navigate the ridiculous bullshit of being an adult.

Finally she started telling everyone in great loud detail about her period and how she needs her wine for her awful period. At that point in the evening the student-minister and I got up from the circle and walked away to talk about our children. I could see from the red faces of some, including the two of us, that there were some attending that were made very uncomfortable by her words.

Lucky for Jim he was engaged in a serious conversation with another friend of ours and missed the drinking/bleeding/crazy. He said he wondered why several of us got up and left and why so many people seemed red faced. I had to tell him later all the horrible he'd missed.

Later it came out that she's going to go to work at the art studio I once worked at, with the sociopath that runs the joint and expects everyone to wear a business suit, teach art classes for free AND read her mind. Myself and one of the others there had both worked at the studio and tried to warn Ms. Wine that the owner was a psycho but I could see our words went into one ear and straight out the other. So.. she's in for quite a time.

Part of me is meanly gleeful knowing that this woman I don't much like will be working for the craziest employer in our tiny town. Clash of the dumbasses.Yeah, I know, I'm going to hell for thinking that way. Gotta admit it, but I would love to be a fly on the wall when she starts working there.

Considering shooting an email off to the pastor to let him know that he really should not allow new Christians without any education or experience to lead small groups like that. I'm so glad I'm not in church any longer. I think I'd rather keep communing with the divine, or not-divine, alone without potluck dinners, gossipers, immature people, and assorted others.


Brian said...

Greetings calulu, I am going to comment and probably piss you further than you are already. I am a 63 year old son of a Fellowship Baptist preacher. We were raised up through the church, got our Sunday School pins for year after year, got saved, got baptized, and, of course did the home-study groups over time.
Nowadays, if some Christian biped asks me if I am saved, I tell them, "Several times, thanks, but it just didn't take..."
The truth is, it did take, several times. And my tumble from belief went from church-goer to non-goer first.
I still believed in Christ and thought it was up to me to find or create an acceptable church. After years of that, I began to realize that I did not really believe in Christianity anymore and that the honest response to myself was that I was a non-theist or atheist. I came to this after first paddling along in agnosticism for some time.... All these changes were the peeling of an onion, you know? Each stage led along to another quite naturally and sometimes painfully.
You are quite picky and petty in your snarky jabs at others and I chuckle as I read your words. I can see you quite clearly attending this gathering and good and ready to jab and poke, to collect your ammo so you can further justify your defiance of good 'churching'.
I support you in this need to express the negative because it is important to honor self, even the darker side of self that dislikes and judges.
We are not all meant to hoot and sing woo-woo together because Jesus hung himself up.
Hold on to your fretful side and fire away but do not think it looks good on you because it is just a person who is clearly pissed.
I get that you are sick and that adds to it and I get that you are impatient with Jimbo being shallow about your way of being now.
What I want to ask you is why you still expose yourself to harm and enjoy it so much?
Do you actually think you are able to point out all the foibles and bullshit that churches collect and somehow, just by pointing it out, praying or dancing around it, it will change somehow?
In your description of the woman who yackety-yacks about her wine and texts and periods, you end up sounding just as 'entertaining' as she is to you!
Please care for yourself. Allow yourself to be as you are because as a biped, should you not be allowed at least to be your honest self? And if that self has a big bullshit-alarm going off all the time around churches, well then, be thankful and see the bitterness in stuffs in you. Trust your humanity. Move along with a skip, a ukelele, a glass of wine or whatever: Who the fuck cares what the pastor says the Bible says about what you are saying she said.... (That long and tiresome game does not need you to play anymore...what a bore.)
Good fortune with your 'infection(s)' ;-)

Calulu said...

You understand what I do for a living involves keeping track of the world of Quiverfull, which I came out of eight years ago?

Part of it is that I live in a small, small town and there are a lot of religious people I cannot avoid no matter what I do. When I do end up at church event now it's because my poor husband has asked me so many times I get tired of saying no.

Yeah, I know I whine, but this is the place for that.. not in my life. I don't complain and carry on in public, just vent here about the hypocrisy among the church community here. About eight years ago I came out of a large independent denomination that would be considered a cult by anyones standards and to this day I've been harassed by former church members when I run into them on the streets here. I still get ugly emails and called names like 'apostate' and 'atheist'.

When your job involves looking at abusive Fundamentalist Christian practices all the time it's sort of like being a hammer. After a while everything starts to look like a nail.

Brian said...

No, I did not understand that going after the
Q was a 'living'... Yikes, is that an eternal Hell thing?
That said,I feel like any effort to expose life as it is in Q is very worthwhile: Just having the truth spoken, in a bubble of woo-woo is pure gold.
And if this is meant to be dump-it, then please accept my bumble apology for hooking in....
You are very strong to be able to hang around that kind of thing for years and years!