Sunday, July 26, 2015

Day One Retirement

I hope that yesterday was not an auger as to how the rest of Jim's retirement is going to play out. It was the most triggering and awful day I've had in ages. Jim started cleaning the garage at daybreak, hours before I arose and started stumbling around making coffee.

First you must know that Jim is prone to start cleaning and organization projects, stop at a half way point, then just mound the stuff in a pile and demand I sort it.

Second - I have ADD, Adult ADD, that makes me freak out and not be able to function or think straight if I'm confronted with a huge pile of stuff. I get frozen where I cannot figure out what I need to do first and end up starting to put one thing away, get distracted by something else and end up overwhelmed and unable to complete the task. Which is why I keep much of my things sorted into plastic labeled tubs. I had all my art supplies and the things I used sorted in plastic bins, labeled and put on the long shelving that runs the length of the garage.

Now they're in a huge heap, thrown hither and yon, freaking me out, triggering me. This is after I deliberately asked Jim about a dozen times not to touch the stuff on the shelves. He didn't honor that and now I cannot make heads or tails of what was my carefully organized art supplies and home improvement equipment.

Third - It's always a bad idea to ask me to think or sort or do anything before I've had coffee. I'm one of those people that feels like a grumpy raging serial killer before coffee. Yeah, that's part of the ADD too.

So now there's a huge pile of trash on the front lawn, a big pile of stuff that needs to go to Goodwill and the garage has a heaping mound of my art supplies and tools in a mess. Just like Laura's bedroom from when Jim sorted it two years ago that I'm still working on sorting out.

I'm upset because I've told him repeatedly how much harder he makes it on me when he does these kamikaze clean outs without my help or notifying me it was coming. But he does it anyway.

Too big to bury him in the backyard and pretend he ran off so I don't know what I'm going to do. But if he keeps doing things that trigger me so massively I might have to take a sanity break at the beach for a week or a month.

Because of the ADD I do things a certain way here because I find I do better and keep on track if I have a set schedule.

Monday - Shopping and clean the bathrooms are picking up the house. Sweep, vacumn mop. Wash all bedding and towels.
Tuesday - Laundry and ironing. Baking the week's bread and whatever baked goods we need.
Wednesday - Home repair and gardening
Thursday - Complete housecleaning
Friday - Usually I work in my sewing room. Do whatever repairs need to happen to clothing or making clothing or working on quilts.
Saturday  -  Gardening
Sunday - Rest, which usually means oil painting and/or reading

None of this schedule counts the fact of the daily things like cooking and dishwashing or work or having to drop every damn thing to deal with a crisis like picking up his bumper and license plate off the ground where Jim hit a deer with his car.

Yesterday I had the double whammy. I picked a huge pile of cucumbers and zucchini and spent most of the day canning, putting up 16 quarts of various types of pickles and making 7 quarts of zucchini relish. By seven pm I was exhausted by the canning and dealing with Jim dragging everything we had in the garage out onto the lawn while demanding I sort it. I took a shower, laid on the sofa trying to crochet. He was most annoyed with me because by 8 pm  I was on the sofa and refusing to get up and sort things from that giant pile or go to the local carnival with him.

I know he means well, but it was seriously stressing me out and no amount of explaining to him why this was affecting me like this helped at all. He's not hearing me at all. Plus after dragging everything out of the garage from 6 am till about 10 am he decided to do other things like go shopping, followed by taking a name from 1 pm till around 5 pm.

Now he's threatening to do the same to the bathroom cabinets. Told him they were perfectly organized already and not to even dare touching any of that!

Here's hoping he gets many days substitute teaching this fall.

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