Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Bathrooms and Gender

Warning: If frank talk about bowel movements offends you then you should ditch now....

One surprising and interesting thing the recent elections highlighted is the fact that people still hold the old view that a man, even a man whose chosen gender is female, is considered a threat to the women using that public restroom.

Kind of makes me sick, that old fundamentalist thought that no man can resist no stray vagina and just might fall straight into it. That's not how life works! Most men, at least the ones that aren't weak, whiny, fundamentalist Christian men, and yeah, even the transgendered ones, can control their sexual impulses. Most women can too. It sets us apart from animals, who cannot.

You are way more likely to be molested or raped by someone with real continuous access to your life, like say a pastor, or family member, than some random person using a public restroom.

I guess for me this sharing of restrooms with others of the opposite sex that feel more comfortable using the restroom of their identified sexuality and gender is a non-issue. Why? One thing. IBS, something I've dealt with for years now, sometimes violating the gender rules of public restrooms.

You see all those ads on television promoting medicines for Colitis or IBS that have the hapless sufferer looking for the nearest restroom everywhere they go? Yeah, it's like that. You never really know when it's going to strike and how quickly you can get to that restroom lest you shit your pants.

You don't give a flying fart in a whirlwind what the gender label is on the restroom. When you're having a acute bout you could likely break land-speed records with how fast you run. My husband can tell you there have been incidences of IBS where he's had to guard the door for me because my need was so urgent that I could no longer wait for the ladies room to free up. He's guarded the door and shooed away random guys while I'm in there.

Which is better than some incidents that have happened because of my IBS, like the time it struck when I was locked out of the house and could not drive the three blocks to the nearest public restroom. All I'm going to say is it's a good thing I had just watched a wilderness survival show or it could have gotten ugly. Then there was the time when it struck me when we were traveling and staying in a hotel in Costa Rica. Jim was shaving and brushing his teeth but my need could not wait for him to finish. I did something I've not done in nearly 30 years we've been married, shouted 'Out of my way!", pushing him aside to use the toilet right in front of him. We laughed over it afterward. 

I've reached the point where I just don't care. The need is too urgent and I know the smells and sounds are probably enough to scare off any would-be rapist. Plus I've come to realize that the likelihood of gender mixing in the rest room to lead to sexual assault is very unlikely.

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