So.. part of me sort of wishes I could take back my angry ranting yesterday, but part of me still feels the same way. It's obvious something is beyond fubared with my bro in law, but I think it's his new(ish) wife more than him.
He showed up yesterday with a huge pan of tamales and assorted goodies. We all ate, exchanged presents and visited and everything seemed completely normal and non-dysfunctional as could be. We even talked about his accompanied us to a visit to nearby Austin or San Antonio in the next day or so. He left.
There was no mention of the awkward situation that had occurred over the previous few days at all. It was like none of what was said had ever happened.
Let me just state for the record that I really, really, really like my brother in law even if I am puzzled many times by his actions and/or reactions to my husband.
After he left the rest of us had a few drinks and played games galore, starting with Catch Phrase and Exploding Kittens. Long, loud and varied conversations took place. Laura's boyfriend Ian was hysterically funny after he got really tipsy on vodka.
This morning Jim got up early and had breakfast with his mother. The rest of us slept in. Jim came back around lunchtime, clearly perturbed by the fact that he'd called his brother up and left telephone messages about getting together and been soundly ignored. The moment Jim left to run an errand apparently his brother and brother's wive arrived to visit with the mother in law before leaving right before Jim came back. It's clear they're avoiding us. Jim is puzzled and hurt. I'm merely annoyed by the level of crazy going on.
It's nearly 9pm and the brother still hasn't returned Jim's call. We've been here a total of three days now and seen his brother for exactly an hour. I can barely stand to witness Jim's painful feelings and confusing over this. The only thing I can think based on something the brother in law said yesterday is that things aren't going very well in the marriage, and that might be what's driving the behavior we were on the receiving end of coming into town and later. Betting that the sister in law is chewing the scenery, stressed out and pissed off and taking it out on the brother. She's having issues with her children and ex husband right now. We just happen to be here in the middle of this, and she's likely torturing the brother for us daring to show up right now.
They've only been married about four years or so and didn't know each other very long before the marriage, both eager to remarry after their divorces. I think they've hit a rough patch. I'm sorry if they have.
Add in the personality of someone that loves to control everything and everyone and you have a mess on your hands.
I hope they come around and Jim gets to spend some time with his brother. I am so over this mess and just want to go home now. Have told Jim never again will I willingly come here to Texas again for Christmas.
The kids and Jim are in Austin right now, after having waited around most of the day to see if the brother would join them. They're visiting a kava bar and the other sights of Austin. I'm back at the house reading and relaxing. The six rounds of antibiotics have done a number on my IBS and until the probiotics kick in I'm afraid of being stuck in the car and away from the bathroom. Ugh. I would have liked to have visited the artistic parts of Austin.
Hoping I am better by tomorrow. We're going into San Antonio, going to visit The Alamo and Riverwalk among other things. No more waiting around for family.