Sort of describes my state of mind today. It's been a tough week, and I'm not talking about trekking back and forth to the doctors/hospitals either. A couple celebrities that I admire died, first David Bowie followed by Alan Rickman. Cancer sucks! Then someone I worked with and knew pretty well killed himself. While all this is going on one of my friends in Australia is living a real life mystery 'Gone Girl' - Her sister disappeared and the media is all over it. My mind has been preoccupied and sad this week.
Last night Jim had a long, sometimes unfriendly, phone conversation with his brother while I cringed nearby and listened in. They did make some headway on the things they're both irritated about with each other. Jim told him how hurt we all were to travel 1,500 miles to be treated like Cousin Eddy, actually no, Clark and Ellen treated Cousin Eddy and his family better than they treated us.
On the flip side Jim's brother thinks that our decision to move the Maw In Law here is purely spiteful, motivated by some desire to 'get even'. He doesn't understand that we all picked up on the tension between Maw In Law and his wife and are concerned that perhaps she's taking it out on Maw In Law. Even our adult children feel this way. This is about Maw In Law's needs and the sense we all have that there's a problem on their end.
The other thing he was upset with us about is that we didn't call his wife that Christmas Day to inquire how she was feeling after he dumped off the food and ran. Jim did tell him we all thought she was faking her illness based upon many of her Facebook posts and things she did right after being so so sick.
I have freaking damn infectious systemic something wreaking havoc on my body since November 27th, was in the hospital twice this week alone and they haven't asked me once how I'm doing. Nor do I want or expect them to. Again, you cannot dictate the behavior of others, which they do not understand at all.
They ended the phone call on a somewhat conciliatory note, agreeing they should communicate more. Not me, what I have to say to them would be expressed with the F-word used many times. No one hurts my husband and kids like that and gets a free pass.
Will this mend anything? Likely not. Jim expressed a desire to have a relationship with them. I'm still done with them and unless I see some genuine behavior changes I'm going to stay done with them. For over thirty years I've smiled, not taken offense and swallowed all the insults, bad behavior and sneering from their side to keep the family peace. Right now I do not give a fuck about family peace, I only care that my family not be exposed to any more of their bullshit and drama.
Had a hard time sleeping after that late night phone call. The clusterfuck continues even if I'm merely an observer now.
This morning I played church hooky, stayed home to wait for Laura, giving her an update on her uncle's ongoing drama. The concensus is still the same, that it's stupid and petty.
We did some shopping and went out for breakfast this morning before she cut the visit short to make a quick run for home. It started snowing here like mad, it wasn't sticking, but Laura was still concerned about the hour drive back to her house.
Waiting for Andy and cruising the interwebs. Something interesting going down with the child of someone mentioned in Vyckie Garrison's story on No Longer Quivering. I'll post about it shortly.