Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Why Early Marriage Doesn't Usually Work

Once upon a time there was a very foolish teenage girl that loved rock and roll and the handsome men in tight pants that played that style of music. She found herself eloping with one of those guys shortly before her 16th birthday. Before you could say abracadabra she was pregnant, isolated and living in a trailer taking care of Mr. Rock N Roll when he wasn't on the road with his band.

The marriage didn't last long. Why did the marriage end? Mr. Rock N Roll wanted her to stay home barefoot and isolated while he played music. She changed, they ended up having nothing in common at all in a very short period of time. Your late teens and early twenties are times of great change, figuring out who you are and what you want in live. The gulf between them just grew too great.

 Having a child forced the feckless girl to try and grow up, in fits and starts, making some bad decisions, some good, flying upside down and by the seat of her pants trying to work, raise her child and go to school. Making do on a very tight budget, cursing the fact that Mr. Rock N Roll was nowhere to be found to pay the child support her owed.

She scraped and saved on her already stretched thin monies and promptly got a divorce, full custody of her child and an order for monthly child support. She never collected penny one on the child support and sometimes went years when Mr. Rock N Roll didn't bother to make any attempts to visit the fruit of his loins.

Lean times. She cursed the day she ever met him and fell for his line of bullshit.

Recently she was very angry at him because it finally dawned on her in her fifties that a certain gynecological problem she had in the first six months of their marriage had actually been an STD. She remembers how oddly the doctor acted about the problem, how that puzzled her, she couldn't figure out what the big deal was, but she did receive treatment and never had that problem again. Perhaps it was her mind trying to keep from her thinking too deeply about the thing she had was likely something he'd contracted because he'd been cheating on her almost from the first day of the marriage.

Fast forward more than thirty years after the divorce and a huge mountain of problems this ex has created through the years for her, even after she remarried, picking a decent, kind, gentle guy that would never cheat on her this time when she was older.

That stupid girl was me and today I got a call from the title search company about the land deal I have going on right now. They wanted all my ex husband's information and would not explain the why. I'm hoping this is just a formality, not an indication that Mr. Rock N Roll is planning some sort of stunt claiming her land is his land too. Feeling rather nervous. Just fired off an email to my real estate agent wanting to know why they need all this information to do a title search. None of this has been necessary in other real estate sales and transactions I've done in the past.

Hoping he doesn't find out about the sale, or is not already stirring the pot.

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