Friday, March 18, 2016

The Day I Was Shamed For The Wrong Toilet Paper!

Nope, not going to whine about my asthma, even if it's hella bad right now.

Instead I want to tell the tale that I had not thought of in years. I remembered this after putting up a Quoting Quiverfull at No Longer Quivering where there was a quiverfull mother throwing shade on a big fancy house she looked at and it seemed more like sour grapes over something she couldn't afford in the first place.

Yeah, I get it that sometimes when something is way way out of your reach it's sometimes easy on your mind,  your nerves and your psyche if you sniff and say something derogatory about the person/place/thing you cannot have. But I'd forgotten I saw this in action at my old church a number of times in some of the stupidest ways imaginable.

One incident stands out and it involves someone that seemed to be in a bad mood all the time even when we were both on worship team together at the old church. I've run into her a scant handful of times since leaving and time plus distance hasn't improved her mood. She tried to chew me out recently for behaving with kindness and simple politeness towards her husband in a chance encounter at a local restaurant. She seemed to think I was going to try and poach her poor mountain man husband, which is utterly ridiculous. I was just being polite.You'd have to pay me to take him, not that there's anything wrong with him, he's just so not my type.

Once back when we were on worship team together we held a worship team get together at my home, a potluck. I volunteered to host it that year even if my house isn't the largest. Everyone seemed to have a good time, at least until she, I'll call her Jane, pulled me aside to complain about my toilet paper.

I was puzzled about what on earth Jane could be so annoyed about with my toilet paper. At the time I was using that Charmin tissue that's ultra soft. Jane gave me a telling off for, get this, wasting money on expensive toilet paper. I shit you not. I remember being taken aback that she would pick that to criticize me for, but I guess if you're that tightly controlling and trying to control everyone around you then toilet paper might fall under the heading of important. 

To this day I'm not entirely sure why my toilet paper being so soft was a sin, but after viewing this particular Quoting Quiverfull I am starting to think I somehow touched a nerve. Jane and her husband Jack lived in near squalor in a tiny old mobile home on his disability checks, so now I'm wondering if her telling me I was wasting money came out of their poverty and envy.

I don't get that. I have friends and family that have bigger or nicer homes, go on fabulous vacations, have fancier cars, you-name-it and I begrudge them none of that. I'm simply happy for them. And I sure do not judge anyone on what type of toilet paper they buy.

So much of fundamentalist Christianity seems to be built upon minding other people's business in bizarre ways and throwing shade at anyone not in complete agreement with you. What a sad limiting way to live. 


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