Wednesday, March 09, 2016

When Online Interactions Get Stupid....

A few minutes ago I found a posting at Melissa of Progressive Quiverful's site demanding I admit I was wrong and apologize?

For what?

The only thing I did 'wrong' was assuming that she was telling a fib about being hacked because the dickish move of erasing blog posts and claiming hacking seems to be one thing that super immature Christian Quiverfull bloggers seem prone to do whenever they get any pushback online. I've seen it before and I'm sure I'll see it again.

Once someone yesterday sent me a screen shot of the hack I removed the paragraph doubting that she'd been hacked. Today I received a decent email from Melissa so I took down a few posts and edited a few more because I didn't want to make her stress levels any higher. I said in my email to Melissa that dialogue with others is good and encouraged her to dialogue with our NLQ commenters.

Yes, I was wrong to assume Melissa was not truthful about her website hack, but that's it. I tried to reach out with an olive branch, silly me. I explained who was and wasn't a Christian in the rundown of a few writers at NLQ. I pointed out what negative history NLQ has with Free Jinger. I tried to encourage her to interact with us in much the same way mVaughn Ohlan has.

I know there are many that dislike Vaughn who post at NLQ, but as I've stated before, he's open to discussion and many are not. Actually, he's capable of rational discussion when most others aren't. Capable and willing, which is why I tried to point Melissa in my email towards discussion with us.  Vaughn really did not deserve the it's all about sex bashing that Cenk Uygar gave him recently on The Young Turks. Cenk did no research and got so many things wrong.

She's also objecting that I used her own words on modesty and not celebrating Christmas in NLQ's Quoting Quiverfull feature, apparently wanting me to say I was wrong for that. Reposting the words of another to illustrate some of the extreme legalism that goes on in the Quiverfull world is never wrong, it is illustrative and instructional.

My heart breaks for her two children suddenly having their entire worlds ripped away, changing all traditions like Christmas and being forced to fit into this new family structure that they didn't chose. I think it's cruel not to consider the emotional needs of the children just like I think trying to insist it's only skirts and long hair for Godliness is also simplistically not considering the needs and practicality of life for children. Jesus addressed neither only skirts being modest or not celebrating holidays. In fact, it looks like to me in the Gospels that Jesus himself celebrated the traditional Jewish holidays. Gifts on holidays are not sins and they don't dull the senses to the spiritual no matter how she tries to spin it.

I'm afraid that by suddenly embracing the whole quiverfull lifestyle Melissa is likely heaping pain, sorrow, confusion  and legalism on children too young to understand the why. Likely it's causing lots of internal cognitive dissonance within Melissa too. Taking on raising eight children from her husband's previous marriage cannot be an easy task no matter how you wrap what you're doing in the Bible.

Clearly whatever is going on inside of Melissa makes it not good for No Longer Quivering to quote anything she says.

But... here's a big but... we're not going to stop shouting from the rooftops just how dangerous the world of Fundamentalist Quiverfull actually is because one Jane-Come-Lately is unhappy with our words. Our side serves a greater purpose in exposing the parts that harm people, women, children, oh and yes, men. Quiverfull harms men as much as it does women.

Because of everything I've experienced at the hands of 'good Christians' in the world of Quiverfull I really fear for Melissa. She's skipping headlong into a journey that will likely leave her broken, like so many that have passed through NLQ and I don't want that for anyone, even her. When life in a high demand belief system finally fails her, and it will, we at NLQ will still be there and would still welcome her in.

But as of this moment we're doing a moratorium on Melissa based discussion at NLQ. She's got issues that are going to take more than the Bible and bad theology to solve. I don't wish to hurt her or add to her problems.

And at the same time I don't like passive aggressive people and I really despise those that try to manipulate me.


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