Saturday, April 02, 2016

Tired of Peeling the Damn Onion!

One thing that has become obvious to me this week is that I'm sort of sick of recovery, of religion and ancient past intruding on the present. I think I'm ready for a change, ready to leave for Costa Rica now instead of next January.

Recovery fatigue. Someone referenced the 'peeling the onion' meme of recovery being like peeling the layers of the onion away to get to the core. I'm ready to take a knife and chop the crap out of that onion and be just done with it! Onion rings! Eat them, be done with it!


1 comment:

Brian said...

Yep. Recovery is hard on the eyes but the weeping and all the rest of it is the foundation for freedom. It just plain rots inside until it can get out and sometimes, as you clearly say, just Costa Rica! and to hell with it... all of it.
Many years ago, I began to think to myself that some people lived their lives without the abuses of belief, the excessive religions, the pie-in-the-sky platitudes. Years later, I realized that I was one of those people and so I started to church-around and to try to invent/allow what I believed could be real religion. Then one day I said to myself, You know, there probably is no God at all. I don't believe.
My lungs became less clogged and I could breathe better. It is an onion peeling, Costa Rica or not; it is a damned onion with layer after layer.... what is two layers away, I cannot even see but I continue to peel, sometimes now without weeping, sometime without misery. I know me, now and I not the evil, fallen thing they promised me I was... I am a human being.
Your post gave me a good belly-laugh. I had this vision of onions flying out your window and landing in church pews and dinging off the noggins of bellicose preacher-types..... thanks for that! Now after I write here and other blogs sometimes, a little box comes up for me to check: It says, prove to me you are not a robot. Since believing in myself and not God, I can freely check that box. Yippee!