Thursday, May 12, 2016

If the Grass Grows, You Gotta Mows

Earlier today I received my copy of Vaughn Ohlman's book 'What Are You Doing?' in the mail and started reading it with a mind towards doing a review for NLQ. There's just one problem, I cannot stop LAUGHING at the sheer awfulness of it all.

And for me to say it's awful it's beyond bad considering in the recent past I read a book written about the time of King Henry's court in Valley Girl speak, a book about banging astronauts on Cape Canaveral that seemed to be written by a 12 year old and a Southern memoir penned by someone who was obviously filled with liquor, regrets and a third grade reading/writing ability. Me, the queen of rambling run on sentences recognizing the awful is pretty low, I admit it. 

Yes, I have picked up some bad writing habits at various newspapers and organizations. But not like this.

The entire book is laid out almost in television or movie script form, with a paragraph setting the scene and then characters speaking out. Too bad this is supposed to be serious because most of the dialogue is stilted, forced, unnatural and not very interesting. It reads like a rejected 'Saturday Night Live' or 'Key and Peel' script on the horrors of why you must stay celibate.

It's going to be so hard to write a legitimate review that doesn't chortle and poke fun at the material every few minutes.

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