Sunday, July 31, 2016

No Sleep and Sermons

I've started having trouble sleeping again, but I think this time it's caused by the fact that I've been drinking coffee like a champ morning, noon and night in my battle against eating very bad for me things. Coffee kills the appetite and gives me enough energy to power through my daily workouts. Unfortunately I've been hoovering up the caffeine like Jessie Pinkman sampling his blue meth with about the same results.

Didn't sleep last night and boy did I feel it today. I slide through my morning like a sluggish snail dragging her shell around, barely able to listen to our pastor's sermon, which to boil it all down the core message was 'Don't Be A Dick', something I guess I need to be reminded of while at the gym.

If you are impassive and non-verbal to others are you really being a dick or just merely rude?

Too bad that sermon didn't fall very deeply in others ears because I got my ass chewed out about ten times AFTER the sermon this morning by various self-righteous pontificators over very minor details. I ran out the door hissing and spitting that I was never coming back. Shades of my old church and I'm not putting up with that again.

As we left church this morning Jim and I were talking about that old Creek Fellowship we used to attend and he said something about why couldn't we see how crazy and toxic it all was. I don't know why we couldn't see it then, but now it seems like it does not take much before I'm triggered here at the place we're attending now.

I guess I'm not as far along in my recovery as I thought I was.

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