Tuesday, April 04, 2017

Won't You Take Me To... Fundytown!

The newest painting estimate goes exactly like I fear it might. The guy shows up, 45 minutes late, no apology, no explanation. Yes, I do know him, yes he is a fundagelical church hopper associated with all the town toxic fundies from my old church Possum Creek.

 I thought I'd avoid him by running a few errands at the time he was supposed to be here, but no such luck. He was very late, arriving after I got back from Walgreens with toiletries.

I'm already miffed at the very idea of this guy being in my home and make it clear right up front that I've picked the paint shades and paint grade and what needs to happen. Flat white for the ceiling, high grade satin in the lightest blue-gray and semi gloss white trim.

He completely ignores that, walks over to my husband and declares that he only paints in flat white or off white for rental homes. He only paints the ceiling and the walls the exact same color. I hiss out that idea is extremely unacceptable and that the only time I don't mind him using a sprayer to paint with is to put down the primer in Andy's room since it's paprika red and will need a couple of coats of primer.

Mr. Asshole Fundy still ignores my words, talking only to my husband repeating forcefully what he can offer us. Spray painting on everything in white or off white. I explode, yell at him before stomping off outside clutching my purse.

Jim and I have that conversation again after he leaves and while going to the local building supply store to check on a new sink we're ordering installed next. We have one of those standard stainless steel sinks and I would like to put in a white porcelain one.  I point out to him again that he's encountered another Bible-thumping asshole out to charge us a pile of money while thinning the paint with water and using a few very light coats of the cheapest grade paint.

Here's something I have learned in my fifty plus years. If a contractor or business loudly brays what good Christians they are then your potential for them trying to rip you off or take some shortcut jumps up exponentially.

When Mr. Asshole left I barely restrained myself from naughty words and bird flipping. I'm sure he's going to tell all those earnest well-scrubbed people we both know about my unsubmissive rebellious behavior. I know where he can stick that. He's never going to paint for us.

Here's what I learned the short time I sold cars and when selling other high end items - most of the time the final approval for high ticket items comes from the wife. Which is why in high end sales situations and I have a married couple I will direct the bulk of my attention to the wife instead of the husband.

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