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All This Time I Was Lying to Myself

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  Flamingo yesterday. I had an epiphany this week. Over the time since Covid I'd become somewhat depressed. Not continually, more like feeling uncomfortable in my own skin in my dear home here. Why? Well, the constant demands of our neighbor here I have had such issues with. Also I've been mourning my old life, my healthy life, a life were walking into a building holding lit cigarettes, fuzzy dogs, strong colognes, and cleaning supplies didn't mean epipen+emergency room. Back almost twenty years ago when I got my diagnosis I went through an extended period of mourning over the changes. Now I'm seeing far more clearly what I've lost, and it hurts.  What's the deal? I watched as they took advantage of my husband, again, again, and yet again. Every time he tried to break away only to have this person push the guilt buttons hard. I've talked to the husband endlessly, including him complaining about this person to me. But the husband could not stand up to this pe...

So Long, See You Later Big Joe

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  Bought a new sewing machine. The computer screen on my Bernina finally kicked the bucket and cannot be repaired here, so I'm going with a Janome for all my quilting needs.  Light blue and covered with pictures of cats, yes please, what more could a girl want? The last few days, actually weeks, has been sort of rough with the exception of the days in Arenal. My darling husband had being going through quite a lot after finding out a few weeks ago that one of his best friends since middle school, Big Joe, was terminally ill with lung cancer. On Friday he finally passed on even as my husband was fretting and trying to decide if he was going to fly to the States and see Joe. Airline prices had gone nuts after the USA bombed Iran. I am merely surprised it took this long for Joe to develop lung cancer. Lordy could that man just smoke and smoke and smoke.. and drink beer at Max's bar. I have hoisted a few with Joe at that place listening to his stories of crowd surfing and the local...

If It's Not One Thing It's Vacation

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 We spent most of last week on vacation. Figured we needed some days away before we head to Louisiana for the final things to do for my mother. It was good and bad at the same time. A rare photograph of the Arenal Volcano completely exposed. Many times it's ringed in smoke. Not this time. The drive was fine. We stopped for pastries at the German bakery before arriving at the usual place we stay, a hotel on the mountain above the Arenal Waterfall looking out at the volcano and Cerro Chatto. We pulled up into the parking lot and the parking lot was gone, just a small amount of gravel to park on. At first I was upset because sitting on the huge pool deck reading was one of my favorite things to do there, but they are rebuilding much more nicely this starting to look shabby hotel. Turns out they tore down the hotel and are rebuilding it, with, get this, 6 count 'em 6 handicapped accessible rooms too. That's amazing. Most hotels do not have that capacity! None of this affected u...

If It's Not One Thing It's Your Family

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  Using this photo for the back cover of my book. It's Copey, a typical evening with the clouds coming down over the mountain peaks, very otherworldly. To the extreme left you see a tiny view of the church that burned down about a month before we left. Large several hundred year old wooden church in this tiny town burned to the ground. Using a photo of the church burning down as the front cover. I had real fun with the back cover adding fake quotes from various Christian Evangelical provocateurs I've knocked heads with, including adding in a fake Kenneth Copeland "WHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooo" More amusing than trying get other writers to do a book blurb about my book being amaze balls. Very few books are that amazing, I don't think mine is. But I like fun, I need fun because right now isn't very fun at all. So what's my major malfunction, Kenneth? Just family. Church. Church had eight - count 'em - eight dogs equals mild anaphylaxis for me hooray. Prep...

Hold On There A Minute, Will You?

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  Walking the unpaved back roads of Copey when I first got here almost nine years ago. Believe it or not that little mountain stream holds trout.  I should have known that the offer was codswallop. It's a local realtor trying to buy my mother's house at a fire sale price. Nope. I know what it's worth. I know what others on that block not on the golf course have sold for when they needed a complete remodel. Oh please, I know for a fact that the few undeveloped lots in the neighborhood are going for at least the amount of the offer. I think some folks see an empty house, listen to town scuttlebutt and try to get in at an unbelievably low price. I can afford to sit on it for the right buyer. And now the Aunt Heap has spoken. Late last night one of them messaged me, telling me to call the across the street neighbor. I told her I would have the husband do it. He's the one with the relationship with the eighty six year old man there. This is the same neighbor that emailed the...

Haunted Doll Mansion Possibly Sold?

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  Waiting on an offer on the haunted doll house on the country club 5th hole. That photo is just the dolls in the living room. You should see the stacks in the other rooms. Heard last night that someone is eager to buy my mother's home. I am supposed to be going there next week. This thing might all be over with now except for the exchange of moneys and the shouting. Gawd I hope so. I have no genuine need or use for the house. It would be a good house for someone, just not me.

Belssed

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  Feeling pretty belssed right now. Even in the heat, the dust and the copious wildfires. Oh, the wildfires you would not believe them. Every year during dry season someone burning leaves gets out of hand and large swathes have been known to burn. Right now it's in the mountains above Hernandez, not far from Avellanas. Smelled and witnessed it the other day at twilight as we rode back from Santa Cruz and the credit union/co-op. Hanging around between the beach and the road. It creates some magnificent sunsets. The more smoke and dust, the prettier the sunset. Like this: or this:   The air was horrid that day. I'm always darting out to get spectacular sunsets even in the dust/smoke if the asthma's not so bad. See the panga boats anchored just offshore? To get out to the big sailboats and cruisers.  I've been in the best mood I've felt in I swear it's been three years, maybe even four. The summer I came back and discovered the person feeding our cats had been givi...

On the Bad Ship "Conspiracy"

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  Tamarindo beach in black and white. Still sick but only whining about it on my page The Mast Cell Block Tango . Let us just say that walking out into the world beyond our living room is like stepping into the dry heat of a blast furnace right now.  We're still trudging back and forth to the credit union over an hour away, still trying to scare up the right documents to move the bulk of our liquid assets there since the bank is suddenly paying diddly squat. Nothing in Costa Rica happens in a hurry and it doesn't pay to think that it will. It just makes you crazy if you ignore Tico Time and think anything will happen rapidly. I've long since lay down my illusions and frustrations over Tico Time and now I expect it. Saturday we went out to see 2 new friends of the husband's. They were DJing 80s music at a bar we'd never been to before. The place was merely meh, it didn't even have the virtue of being on the beach like most of the joints we go to. It was positivel...