The Sea is a Salty One

  This was certainly true yesterday. I veered into some very bad behavior. I've been cringing and inwardly beating myself about it since. Embarrassed myself indeed.  I mean, this is nothing new, I'm not perfect. I screw up, I screw up a lot. I usually try to do the right thing.... right up until someone provokes me in some horrible way. You remember last year I was having sudden problems with an Airbnb property behind me? Someone built a three story lux townhouse, and while it was some ridiculous distance from us, like twenty yards or so, they could see over our ten foot wall to the glistening pool and hot tub. Plus the back wall of the kitchen is a picture window something like eighteen feet across with my range and sink on that wall. Eventually we started getting complaints from their guests showing up on our doorstep to either request pool and hot tub access or accusing me of standing there like a creep spying on them when I was either cooking dinner or washing dishes. We s...

 Took it all down. Why? I don't want to leave space for her, not even negative space in my life. Who? Who are you asking about? The stealing accusations were getting me so angry and I don't like staying angry. Prefer to treat her like a buzzing fly and ignore.

  Boats off Tamarindo. They really need to built a harbor now.   I finally found my missing jewelry. Just inexpensive costumer jewelry. Every single time I stay alone at my mother's house I have two or three pieces go missing because of Norma. Times three trips that is about nine pieces.    Who is Norma? My mother's late husband's second wife. The one he was married to all during his and my mother's many years long affair. I knew Norma. I knew Norma pretty well because whenever she'd drink she'd call the house when I was a teen. I spent many a long evening talking to Norma trying futilely to reason with her, begging her to stop calling so I could study. Once she died my mother and her love married, and moved into Norma's house on the country club fairway. I begged my mother to buy another house in that neighborhood, not to move into that place but she listens to me about as well as I ever heeded her advice to me.   Here's the thing. I have always felt so...

  Yeah, any family that thinks it is a okay to let a toddler be in neck deep water is a great thing isn't really so wonderful themselves. Another day, another set of crazy things I have to do for my mother while fending off the other side of the family demanding I fly to New Orleans for a funeral. So many stupid phone calls, so little time. Discovered this morning that another family member disregarded my wishes and named me in the relative's obit even as I literally had not once clamped eyes on her for twenty six years.  I did get today's most important task completed. The yearly required distribution of her IRA account. But it was close, multiple phone calls. First to find out if they received our notarized paperwork over her being in memory care and incapable of making big decisions. The rep kept referring me to the website, where I tried to log on and got locked out. I had to call back multiple times before I was able to finish the transaction.  Right now I am contemp...

  Feeling as stripped and used up as this abandoned building right along Playa Panama that's already been knocked down. I should be so lucky! One of the biggest most horrible things about being back is the husband nagging me a few times a week on what he thinks should happen with my mother and her assets. I finally had to take to telling him to ferme ta bouche please, before I lose my mind. I can only do so much, I am determined to be responsible with every cent, and this whole crap shoot has required oodles of paperwork. Like trying to eat a steak the size of Detroit levels of paperwork. I have discovered the only way I can cope is two fold. 1 - Keep a detailed hand-written ledger of every action. 2 - Take only the size bite I can handle that day. Anything more than that is too much. Today's crisis was I was contacted about an unpaid bill at Mom's new home. I did sign away my life and provide the home with the obligatory cancelled check, told them I didn't want to be b...

  Sort of me the last few days. I decided on Monday to give up my decades long post-coffee drink. Stopped cold turkey Monday morning -- Diet Coke. I was drinking one to two cans/bottles a morning after my coffee. My aunt guilted me into it based upon several studies claiming it causes high blood pressure, heart disease and strokes. I've had a TIA and a more serious one, so I'm trying to do everything I can to avoid another one. I started feeling physically awful and exhausted on Tuesday morning and here it is on Saturday night and it finally dawned on me I'm suffering caffeine withdrawal. Yay me! I'm so dumb sometimes. This has been going on at the same time as the husband has been losing his mind after the accusations of financial chicanery at church by you know who. Would love to know how our president drinks a dozen cans a day? How does he sleep? I cannot stay out of the bed. Sleeping eleven to twelve hours a night this week.  Not sure how I'm going to drag my ex...

 Starting with a song by Jason Upton - Freedom  I love this lyric: "  Well, we live in a country supposedly Pharoah-less But all over town and in churches abide Powerful weaklings who practice they're politics Stealing from Jesus his beautiful bride Whether you're Pharisees, Sadducees, heresies You best get outta God's way!" This is what went down yesterday with the Ogress texting my husband every five minutes all day long ringing his chimes by accusing him of stealing or misplacing money. I believe now that she set him up. She was so incredibly upset that we stopped all favors to her, stopped her swimming daily in our pool, and the husband stopped going out of his way to help him. She blames me, but she decided to torment him in order to upset me. She's a powerful weakling. While it did upset me the only thing I did was leave it alone and spill my ire here, and think of ways to expose or dethrone her. While I'm annoyed she's done this by late yesterda...

  This morning the poor husband still had not found the missing monies and he's not taking it well. He's about to take it a whole lot less well when I tell him what the Coconut Telegraph spit up today to me as he napped. The Ogress told others he is ' confused ' and ' not himself.' Oh, please! He's his usual one track mind * coughcoughFantasyFootballcough * self, no more senile than usual even if he is at least ten years older than her. He has always been a guy who focuses on what he wants to focus on, and behaves every time he's around her recently like a man forced to use a rotting kipper as a tie pin.  She's gaslighting him to anyone who will listen now. I find it infuriating, but he is going to lose it when I tell him what the rumor she's floating is. Way worse than I did. On the flip side I finally realized what I need to do to shut Rebecca of Delusional Hill Farms down and it involves an upcoming meeting, asking legitimate questions and quo...