The Sea is a Salty One

Breakfast on Playa Tamarindo at Jonny T's yesterday Yesterday was one of those days I hate. It starts okay and then goes very sideways for the rest. My sleep has still been very messed up, so I was dragging from the moment I got up. I tend to read around bedtime, fall asleep face down in a book, wake up panicked later and get up to get ready for bed. By the time Jim comes to bed around 1 am he many times wakes me up and it takes awhile to get back to sleep. I tend to then wake up again around 4 am, up a few hours before crashing hard. I don't know why, but this is what's going on with my sleep. I've tried various things, like melatonin, and nothing is helping. We went to the beach for breakfast. Jonny T's has a breakfast buffet that will run you the munificent sum of 2,500 colones, or under 5 bucks. Sitting oceanside after the beach is closed to swimmers, surfers and walkers. Beautiful views, great food. We know the owner and I hope he makes it. About 75%  of the bu...

View from a one lane bridge last month driving back from Arenal. Lots of tiny one lane bridges on the backroads near the volcano. It is eerily quiet now. Our pool crashing friends are gone. Others I know have flown back to the U.S.A. now. Driving through Tama it's a ghost town still. Big lumbering lazy iguanas slowly crossing the main calle. My eldest daughter called yesterday morn to tell me she was back in touch with a group of kids she'd started hanging around with in middle school. Just after we're moved to Central Virginia. I was glad to hear because I'd always wondered what happened to those kids as they all drifted apart post-high school. But one of the things she said shocked me to my core. One of the boys told her how mind blown he was to meet Jim and I. That we were literally the first white people he had met that treated him just like they did everyone else. This is 1990 we're talking about, not 1890, and I can assure you I treated all of my kids friends ...

No pretty photos this time. Just this farked up one from on top of the local Catholic church. I don't even know what this being is beating. Blowing up the photo I see I've been mistaken, it's the scales of justice and a sword. My mind sees that and thinks abusive beating. What a few days! Our friends that like to drift in to swim are returning to the U.S. tomorrow. We'll not seem them again, and I won't have to worry they're tracking in the 'Rona every time they come swim. I'm sort of sad to see them go. They came to hang out and bring chips and dip last night. Yesterday night things took a dark weird turn. First I got an email through Patheos that Bethel Redding is upset that I do not respond to their passive aggressive emails. I had to write a piece for NLQ explaining my thoughts on their exploitation of people. While I was ranting one of my craziest friends popped up in super crazy mode. She pmed me for hours, and it was so super unhinged. Below is ju...

This week I've been having more howler monkeys visiting me. I had to move into the sewing room to work because of the ongoing repairs to the roof and bedroom ceiling. The monkeys are coming onto the wall to peer down into the sewing room. I woke up grumbly and pissed off to the sound of Jim and one of his plague ratty buddies in the pool with the music cranked this morning around 7 am. I'm starting to feel like this place is Grand Central Station with the metal gate open standing open for the workmen, and people just strolling up unannounced. But it didn't last long. I spent the day awaiting the news, and photos and video of the Nurie Rodrigues and Nathan Keller wedding. Betting that Jill is somewhere off grinding her teeth because David and Priscilla Waller posted wedding photos of the happy couple. The radio silence from Jill is telling. Towards afternoon the same plague rat buddy showed up here, nearly in tears. His aged mother has passed on in the United States, likely ...

The clock tower Burnabela Ramos in the park of the same name downtown Santa Cruz. I always park near it when buying fabrics and sewing supplies or shoes in Santa Cruz. Photo taken in mid February. There was no shopping there today, just driving through. Things are getting a hair weird here. Yesterday's COVID 19 rates climbed by over 35% in a single day from the day before, which was a good hundred more than the day before. It's skyrocketing here. Which means that strange lottery called national health recommendations changed again. Announced last night that beaches are reopening until 2 pm, and tourist flights are resuming on August 1st from Canada, UK and EU. No flights in from the U.S. In the middle of the rising rates of a pandemic. SUCH a dumb decision! Most of the country is under an orange alert, we're under yellow. Meaning there's strict curfews in both, and no sit down restaurants open in the orange zone.  We found that one out the hard way, just like the fabric...

So this exists...... I stayed primarily in my sewing room yesterday, and I napped a lot. Weird dreams, but not as weird as something I strayed into last night. Yes, Kiss and Scooby Doo did an animated movie a few years ago and I ended up watching it last night. In parts horrified, sometimes laughing and part disgusted by the money grubbing. One has to believe that this is merely all about the money. Through the years I've seen the name "Kiss" slapped on all sorts of weird things for moolah. They are known to do anything to make some dough. They even did a horrible live action film long ago. Painful  acting, stilted dialogue and belabored plot lines. I watched the Scooby Doo thing last night for a couple of reasons. One, I didn't want to go out into the rest of the house because it's a sad sight. Mud tracked in by the workmen, plaster dust everywhere. For my asthma I stayed in and watched a silly movie. Two, I have Kisstory. My step brother positively loved, LOVED,...

This iguana is giving you the stink eye and planning on shitting on something you love. By yesterday afternoon I was just done with having those guys here working on the roof and ceilings. Noisy, dusty, no tranquilo. My bedroom is taped up and swathed with plastic sheeting. I had to climb over sheeted furniture to rescue my toothbrush and nightgown. Reacting to the plastering, asthma and sneezing and then I had to deal with shit, literal shit. We moved into one of the guest rooms. I didn't bother with changing the sheets or quilt. Both had been put on the bed within a few months clean. No one had slept in the bedroom for months. Clean if not entirely fresh smelling. Imagine my surprise when I folded back the quilt and could feel the gritty stuff shifting around. Okay, so my stray Scabby (renamed Bun-Bun with the bunny silhouette on his back) has been napping on the bed, and I'm guessing the grit was from him. Shook out the quilt and continued on, pulling back the sheets only to...

A small crocodile hiding in the shallows at Playa Tamarindo last February. I love to scare tourists by pointing out the crocs, but I really don't want to see anyone get bitten. They do sometimes bite a tourist or two. Today is kind of sucking and sucking hard. The house, the guesthouse and the yard is filled with workmen. One of the realities of Costa Rica is that everyone claims to be an expert at repairs, but rarely are. Last years we had the roof fixed, the roof repainted and the one leaky spot remudded and repainted. Guess what leaked during the first hard storm of rainy season. The roof. Of course! Because they are using latex based mud, primer and paint I'm hiding in my new temporary refuge, my sewing room. I think this was originally supposed to be a live in maid's quarters, but I put my sewing machines and mountains of quilting fabrics in here along with all my other art supplies. It's my she shed. Jim is not allowed in. I don't quite know why, but every sin...

Sunset from a friend's boat ages ago. I've been hearing from my poor momma the last few days. An email here, a relayed message through an aunt, and some phone calls. She's worse than ever. Her grasp on reality is like trying to hang onto the wings of a butterfly in flight. She wanted to know my youngest daughter's phone number, something she's already had for ages now. The other things were rambling how much she loves "Mad Men" and Don Draper and 'that good looking Jon Hamm!' This was all accompanied by her raving about a wonderful book she recently read "Americanah" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I decided to download it and read. Mom told me this was a fascinating look at everything wrong with American culture, written by a Nigerian, a expose documentary of a book. Imagine my surprise when I finished Mary Trump's book and queued this one up only to discover it was fictional. A novel. Yes, so now my mother has completely missed the ent...

Playa Danta, gonna be a while before we are allowed back. We had that conversation where I said "Your friend is slightly creepy/handsy" and it went well. He had noticed. It's always awkward and weird to point out that a spouse's friend is a line crosser. Next time I'll unleash the right hook. The car is fine. It is sitting in the garage all shiny and new. No mud. The same cannot be said of me. I am still scrubbing mud from under my toenails. One thing is very obvious. This pandemic and my six month long bout of crazy asthma did me no favors at all in the physical strength realm. Before all of this I used to swim 50 lengths of the pool, and walked a lot of places. Not now. I'm still reacting to the chemicals of the pool. So I signed up for an online exercise class. I'll let you know how it goes. So far it is harder than I dreamed, but I need that. There's nothing less fun than hopping out of your stuck car after putting it in neutral and pushing, feelin...

I have to have another very hard conversation today and I'm not sure how I'll approach it. In marriage hard conversations are best done with a careful approach to keep from explosions and drama. Yesterday someone was sort of inappropriate with me. In retrospect I think he was a little too much handsy touchy feely with me, gray, old, sagging, salty old me.  At the time I didn't pick up on it, but later I kept thinking about it. We're going to have to talk about this. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe my boundaries are all screwed up out of my family dysfunction, but it sure felt pretty weird.

 They see me rollin., they hatin'.. cuz I'm ridin' dirty... Today contained one of those God/Universe moments telling me just how inconsequential I am, and how dumb and petty my own problems are. Fortunately I recognized it quickly and was just rolling laughing at my own stupidity and besmirched dignity. The last three days I've been completely down in the dumps and extremely concerned about my elderly mother. She's showing some pretty serious signs that she's in end stage alcoholism. She has most of the symptoms. I've been getting panicked communications and sad phone calls from other family members in Louisiana too. It's not good, it's looking like the end of the road is unfortunately within our vision. She's no longer rational at all. We've had one of the longest and oddest phone calls of our history on Sunday. She's slipped so much so suddenly. I've been in denial about how bad it has gotten but talking to the elderly aunts it...

Took this photo last week at Playa Grande. The fence along the blocked of parking lots and usually reads "Parque 1000 Colones" and the wall is now painted with the words "Peace On The Land And In The Water" Peace, simple peace, yes I am down for a spate of that. Unfortunately now is a time of rumor, rumors of war (against Covid) and no real answers. I did hear that the government in Costa Rica is extending the passports of we Americans here on tourist visas until November 19th, which is good news indeed. But at the same time we are having close to 400 new cases of Coronavirus daily. Much of the country is back in Phase two reopening with 5 pm curfews and Phase one license plate restrictions in the Orange zones. Tama is still in the Yellow zones, but tonight we are hearing that it is quite likely we are all going back to Phase One nationwide, that total lockdown for everyone with the only exception being going out twice a week for food or medications. I'm part...

Sunset overlooking Playa Brasilito shot from the sadly now gone Lucy's, a surfer themed restaurant near the turn to Playa Flamingo. They had an amazing deep fried avocado salad. One thing I've been thinking a lot about lately is money, the lack of it, and all the sleazy actions someone will take just to get it. I look at folks like our president Donald Trump, and just know he has much less money that the image he strives to project. Money is intrinsically tied up in so many people's notions of 'self worth' when it really shouldn't be. Can money insulate you from many of the harsh realities of life? Sure it can, but I'm not so sure that's always a positive. Going from having money to not having money is a harsh mistress, because you realize suddenly how cushioned and insular you were and now you're having to clean out the crisper drawer in the fridge like everyone else. It feels like a betrayal. It happened to me when I was tossed out of my family in ...

Stinky hanging out in the guesthouse during last October's flooding of the house during the massive storm. I love that coffee table. Mango wood shaped just like a surfboard. Stinky fell off the roof a little while ago, right into the bubbling boiling hot tub. I'd been in the hot tub for my back when he started meowing. Spotted him on the roof, started talking to him and he rolled right off the roof. Never have I seen a critter move so fast getting out of the hot water. I needed the laugh. I've been filled with crazy irrational anger all day long. You'd think by now I would recognize it as a coming severe asthma bout, but I rarely do when its happening. Just much later. But it did hit, after I sat in the hot tub. The hot tub chemicals get me every single time now. So I'm stuck with the bad back now. My padded computer chair got all wobbly and I've been having to use my leather Costa Rican rocker. I'm only 5'2", Jim's well over six feet. My desk i...

We have had quite the day. Parking today in front of Banco Nacional in Nicoya this morning. This morning proved one thing, that Jim and I are the most ineffectual criminal types ever. We're the Apple Effing Dumpling Gang. I shook every time we saw a cop. It must be a hang over from being raised Catholic, but whenever I see a cop I automatically feel guilty, even if I'm done nothing wrong. We had to take our friend's jalopy back to get inspected for Retive again. The Retive is expired, and much of the major roads are crawling with cops, lousy with law enforcement. The stick is dead-dead, and the car needed major work. I was freaking out about it after talking to our lawyer last week. He told us that merely driving around in a car with expired Retive and getting stopped means they'd impound the car and only the owner could get it out, at about the costs of three hundred. We talked to our Canadian friend, and he said to do it. The first set of cops was less than two blocks...

My desk, my view from the desk. A dark view today based upon how I'm feeling, even if it's broad daylight now. I am feeling just heart sick today. Why? Well, it's dawned on me that someone I know, that I know pretty well, may be neglecting their child with chronic health issues, serious chronic health issues. We bonded over the issues involving children with chronic health conditions initially. I know what that life is like, the feeding tubes, the endless blood tests, the hospitalizations, the surgeries. The endless worry. It's not a pleasant way to live, but I lived it intensely for a few years during the worse of my youngest child's bout of ITP idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura, Scary words. Her immune system, they think but are unsure of hence the idiopathic, randomly destroyed her blood platelets in childhood. Thankfully my daughter seems to have outgrown this particular symptom of a flawed immune system and now only gets the occasional bout of shingles instea...

A stump that washed ashore last week at Playa Grande. Even though the end part of the week was more like what I encountered on the main road through our village when I went to pick up medicine this very morn. Those grinning local road repair guys were at it, trundling over wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow of dirt over to the axle cracking potholes deep enough to bath in, dumping it and tamping it down while chortling and waving to me. I shook my head and smiled, knowing the first hard rain it would all dissolve. This was around 9 am. By 1 pm it was raining cats, dogs and iguanas, and all the dirt had washed out of the potholes. Life is getting too much lately, and I'm starting to feel grumpy again, as grumpy as last month when I had to keep telling friends to back the eff off on Facebook and phones. I couldn't figure out the why then, now I have a better handle on the why. Keep reading that people with empathetic tendencies are getting emotionally worn out in the time of COVID 19 ...