Raw Nerves Again

 

Boats at sea. Wish I was.

So much going on right now. I haven't felt right in the head since Israel and Hamas started bombing each other. Heart breaks for those on both sides, the desperate families of the hostages and those dead in the first terror attacks and those in harm's way through no fault of their own on the other side. Too much blood has already been shed.

Yesterday morning we got very bad news first thing in the morning from Jim's recent repeat of his tests from two months ago. He's scheduled for a biopsy in just under two weeks. I was and am in tears because I've read up on what they think this likely is and it's not good.

I wasn't much good afterward, and when I saw what someone I don't much like had done my mouth outran my brain. I don't like the lying about too many things. I don't like she was trying to follow me again after I've blocked her many times. It was all fire and fury coming out of my mouth. I'm ashamed I behaved so poorly towards her, I should merely have silently blocked her yet again, sighed, and head-desked. It was the likely cancer news that stripped me of my ability to be even sort of cool about the entire thing.

There are very few things I take worse than when someone openly violates someone else's copyrights over a piece of work, be it written, music or art! Add the bald faced lying going on and the fact that this person openly attacked a friend. This particular friend is one of the most ethical people I know and I saw that insane red buzzing in my head that triggered a pretty extreme loss of temper by me.

Add in I'm watching the husband join the elders board at his church, and the pastor is learning a hard lesson. That same hard lesson the pastor at our Methodist church could have told him. Jim is not going to be rubber stamping any high dollar project through. He's never been a pastor's yes men, or one of his hype men before and I'm frightened for him. He does not get the games people play in power.

Tomorrow should be interesting considering the preacher over at that little mega church in the little old jungle will be preaching on Israel and the conflict. I expect Jim will lose it. He has never liked the Evangelicaltown glee over any Middle East conflict because they're hoping to trigger Jesus' return and the Rapture (tm and so damn silly!) I know Jim's thoughts on peace in the Middle East, I know he's heartsick over the recent killings on both sides. He's talking about walking out of the sermon tomorrow.

So much stupid religious bullshit. I know if he returns to the dog laden place we used to go they are also gungho on praying for the end of this world as we know it. They are all  very interested in provoking the return of Jesus. The third place is like that too. The churches here are awfully unified in their awfulness and awful members. This is why I stay home now.

I wish my foot would heal completely from the sprain so I could return to beach walking daily. I feel the need to walk tomorrow, rain or no. I just know it's too soon. Exercise helps so much when the world goes crazy and I go crazy with it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Missed Stompism

One anecdote I neglected to pass on that had Jim and I puzzling and laughing. Stompy, Jim and I were talking about her upcoming European trip when she mentioned she was going to be in Amsterdam a few days. I squeal and tell her had I know I would be loading her with money and a shopping list for the Van Gogh museum. I really, really, REALLY want that entire set of sweet Samsonite with his almond blossom painting on it. She turns to us and tells sue she's going to the Sex Museum instead. Oh holy crap!
Read more

Bottomless Betty and Blocking the Aunt Heap

Image
  The Chesapeake Bay Bridge last weekend. So where have I been? Back to Louisiana and then up to Maryland. I wanted to check on my mother in her assisted living. It didn't go well at all, even if I stayed ten days. One of my aunts in the Aunt Heap nicknamed my mother 'Bottomless Betty' after she suddenly developed the inability to wear bottoms at all, no pants, no panties, no skirts. It was most bizarre and had a sudden onset. Her dementia has gone haywire in the few months she's been in assisted living. I'm not entirely sure she knew who I was either. This was a shock, her mental status slid so fast it was scary. Did what I could, talked to the folks in the admin office seeking a way to help her. My mother's doctor had tried a drug to slow the dementia but all it did was cause my mother to hallucinate.   Got home on Tuesday night, taking that long airplane ride from Washington, DC to my home near Tamarindo, Costa Rica. Human Greek chorus and alarmist member of...
Read more

Strange Days and Orchids

Image
Water feature from the Orchid Garden near San Jose. Well, it's been a strange week or two. I've lost days to this silly ankle thing. Took off the boot at a week to start doing physical therapy movements, made it two days and now the boot is back on and I'm down to two pain pills. It's healing so slowly this time. Have to do a medical follow up this week. Several days ago we went to a party for a lady we know who is throwing in the towel and going home to the U.S.A. Katie was trying to do that thing that is impossible here on the Gold Coast -- live as a gringo without a steady monthly income. Even a social security pension will not cut it here. It's expensive, but likely not as expensive as life in the U.S.A. is getting lately. Read that there has been a 40% jump in the price of vegetables and fruits last month. Deporting the folks that do all the grunt work there was one very bad idea mixed with those insano tariffs. We have high tariffs here and it inhibits the amo...
Read more