Vacation During Vacation

Only photo I've taken here is our crazy former neighbor's yard festooned with crazy pro-Trump tchotkies. Only pro Trump anything I've seen so far and I have to believe that bodes well for the election.

Right now in Maryland. Have been here two weeks now. Visited Rehoboth Beach for nearly a week and the rest of the time here near D.C. Good trip so far, barring things like American Airlines gate agents bad behavior in the face of disability access. Got accused of being "Jetway Jesused" by a few passengers unable to understand that the Thalamic stroke means walking with a cane in small airports, and taking the wheelchair in Miami. Gate agent picked up attitude from passengers, and attempting to skip calling anyone for preboarding. I sat with some pretty awesome folks on both flights and had a great time.

Rehoboth was meh. Not the house we stayed in, not the family or fun, just the beach was meh. Every thing else was pretty great, including the mushy peas and fish and chips! I keep forgetting that in the States sand is dredged up from the ocean floor and piped up on the beach, meaning  you have a foot of loose friable sand on the beach instead of what we got in Costa Rica, meaning walking was a challenge, even with my cane. I face planted within moments on the beach, and with the shaky balance that means slowly leveraging myself biscuits up and out of the sand without human interference. Meaning I always have a few strangers trying to help that I have to ask to please do not touch me. It's just too hard on the balance. Give me the beaches in CR please! So many people! So much business and just busy ness!

Jim flew out yesterday and it was a good example for me that he has active memory issues. One of the crazy things he did was leave behind his entire "Michigan" wardrobe of jeans, jackets and long sleeved shirts. He also called us up with a long weird story about telling the Delta ticketing agent and gate agent about his sudden bout of bad constipation! My youngest and I were laughing so hard at his telling of the story, and his insistence that I have the Costa Rican version of Colon Blow ready for him when he comes home to CR in two weeks. I think I still have some Ass Blast in the medicine cabinet at the house.

We keep doing this same dance of the Sugar Plum Dumbass where I try to get him to join me in eating fruits, veggies and fiber and he fills his maw with Pringles and peanut butter. On Tuesday Jim consumed no fewer than four, count 'em, four, frappes and mocha drinks. One was a Starbucks ten thousand calorie cookie crumb frappe brave with whipped cream! Yes, I'm a bitter jealous fatty hater clutching my skim milk decaf iced latte and eyeballing the scones and danishes while Jim eats like a teen. He should have had massive diarrhea with that much caffeine. I don't know what to do with that man!

The day before we drove out to our former Virginia town and neighborhood before visiting the only friends we still have from our old church Possum Creek, Peter and Joan. Heard one of the worst leaving non denom Evangelicalism stories I have heard yet.

Two years ago Joan was involved in a head on car crash that left her in the hospital for over six months. Multiple broken bones, crushed hip, brain bleed, many injuries, lots of surgeries and drugs. She's still not entirely "right". Like me she walks slowly with a cane, tires easily, and is in constant pain.

In the aftermath of the spiritual car crash that was the destruction of Possum Creek she and Peter have church hopped around. Including ending up for a few years at a place that also fell apart due to the sexual abuse of minors by the pastor and his son. Last four or five years they'd been attending a new non-denom that was run by a man with zero education or training. I visited once and just wasn't impressed, the guy kept doing the blaming/shaming of various denominations in the worst offensive terms I've heard. Peter said I didn't understand that was one of that preacher's one flaws. Yeah, I do not get it!

Pastor Shamer and the church supported my two dear friends during their trials, arranging rides, meals, helps, you name it. This is what good churches do. It was what followed that was just too much.

Once Joan recovered enough to leave the hospital and later the rehab center she struggled to attend Sunday morning services. I know anyone that reads here regularly knows I've given up on that, that I attend virtually online services because of my own problems with Jim's church and my health. When Joan started attending post-accident it was a struggle, she didn't always make it there, and she wasn't always in the best of spirits because of the constant pain. 

Pastor Shamer decided without once speaking to her about it that her constant less than grinning countenance and occasional frowns indicated she was murmuring and complaining against him. He sent her an email to that effect, ordered her to public repentance in front of the entire church for it.

I know Joan well enough to know she's telling the truth, she's not a whiner or complainer, I went to church with her for over twenty years at a place that would have given both of us plenty of fodder to moan about.  She showed me the email as well. It was a case of "resting bitch face" mixed with "pain face." that he took entirely the wrong way.

She said she prayed about it for two full days, very upset and crying, before breaking down and snapping at him. Well, you can guess how that went down. Not well. He tossed Joan and Peter from his church. Peter wrote Pastor Shamer an email explaining how much pain Joan was in daily, and Pastor Shamer said that Peter was clearly being manipulated by Joan.

So one of my dearest friends in this entire world, who listened and prayed for me during my own trial by fire leaving Possum Creek has been spiritually abused by church leadership. This is not a club I would ever want her to join because it's such a dark place. For now Joan and Peter are doing like I, attending online services, trying to regroup and figure out where to go from here. I pray it's somewhere better.