When the Flirting is so Completely Wrong!

 

I absolutely love this completely bonkers photoshop of Joe Biden getting up close and personal with members of the starship Enterprise. I am an equal opportunity offender this morn. Trying to elevate my mood. Last night I heard that Ryan Stollar killed himself. Hit hard. I've known him a long time now.

The pool guys and the plumber are here. That recent earthquake cracked the hot tub and loosened some of the faucets and pipes in the house. Repairs ongoing.

Stupidly did a long beachwalk yesterday and started paying the crazy no spoons price immediately. Can barely function today. 

A couple days ago I knocked heads with a ridiculous guy name calling after I pointed out his stances belied his self-applied sobriquet. Said I'd tell a tale of the most inappropriate flirtation I ever experienced. No, it wasn't at my father's funeral or anything like that. It happened during my honeymoon.

We flew to the Bahamas on one of those package deal honeymoons. The Bahamas were lovely, but the resort was nowhere near the beach. I had great fun tooling around the island on a rented motor scooter. We stopped one afternoon at a huge pile of abandoned conch shells on the edge of the harbor with the idea we might jack one or two as souvenirs. Conch meat is a routine part of the diet there, conch fritters and all sorts of stuff.

A man emerged from a nearby boat with the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen sat in a tanned leathered face that looked if he'd seen some hard years. Blonde hair in tangled dreads, very long indeed. We started talking to this guy and his father, telling them we were there on our honeymoon and could not resist seeing that giant pile of shells up close. They were all rather beat up, not suitable for much. The husband and the father drifted off talking to look at his boat.

What I didn't tell you about this guy with pretty eyes is he stunk to high heaven, like bathing wasn't something he did more than once a week. But that wasn't even the worst smell. He stunk of beer and assorted liquor. There was even a huge pile of bottles near the conch shells.

As the husband and this man's father toured the ship Mr. Beautiful Eyes turned to me and said something like "Hey baby, dump this chump and meet me back here at twilight and I'll take you on a romantic boat right around the islands. It's very romantic." 

He knew I was there on my honeymoon, but he still tried to score some tail. I don't even remember what excuse I gave him but I got away from him and caught up with the husband. Awkward! 

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