Chicken Not So Little

 

Well, well, well, I talk a great deal of smack but I chickened out. The lady with the obnoxious dieting MLM I spoke to her, I was kind to her, and I deliberately decided not to say a word. I realized something this morning - you don't tell someone off for crossing your boundaries if they don't matter in your life actually to you. Not important enough to cause drama over. Surface polite, ignore the texts, breathe in, breathe out, move on. People not your family or friend group do not always deserve an explanation. I have more important fish to fry.

I'm still running into more former conference crackheads like myself, new ones every week, refugees from the late 90ss through the 00s. Seems odd there are so many of us clustered in one spot. It's quite weird that almost en masse they are still living in the former charismatic holy spirit crack rock phase when in reality that puppy is deader than Old Yella. It's actually pretty interesting to me that they are still living in that moment of emotionalism without having learned a thing. I want to know the 'why', is this like those folks stuck in the glories of high school, who peaked during those years and it's their entire frame of reference for life? I can see I'll be writing about this later for my Substack. Except for the drive by unasked for praying they are largely harmless.

Decided no one up there is important enough to me to disagree with. Mask and smile on, mark and avoid toxic ones, surface only, protect real thoughts about all of this because it's always more amusing to observe people doing stupid pet tricks than battle over it. I am reminded of a quote that is wrongly attributed to Sun Tzu "If you sit by the river long enough, you will see the body of your enemy float by."

None of these folks are enemies per se but I am done trying to influence any of them. Let people reap the consequences they are courting. 

This is why we cannot have nice things in churches, 

On Tuesday Mom goes into hospice. I told none of them about her condition or anything about it as I didn't have the energy for those conversations. Talking with the aunts more today about what's to happen. 

Tried to find my Airbnb reservation, and ran about like I was a crackhead having memory problems though my emails before I realized where the details were. Had to pay my portion this evening. My brain is frying from stress. I think this is the main driver in deciding people not in my circle aren't going to affect me at all.