Crafting a Better Answer?
It was a quick trip down and back mixed with us visiting every major car dealership in the Liberia area on the way back. Jim and I are not in entire agreement on the purchase now. I think we should consider a brand new Chinese SUV because warranted, new car and price is good. Jim is still leaving towards the older car sold by our mechanic. We'd be fine with either one. Although new would be awesome. I like new, and I'm willing to gamble on a Geeley.
Yesterday involved laundry, bales of it, mountains of it, particularly after finding out that our hot water heater is leaking very slightly. Today I have to organize and scrub the laundry room in preparation for the plumber. I've needed to reorganize for awhile because it's turned into our catch all room. The water soaked the bottom of an old press board spare cabinet we'd stored there, but that's not a big deal. Haul it out, throw the useless thing away pronto!
It was yesterday evening / afternoon that brought the question I'm still struggling to answer.
We'd stopped by a friends home a few miles away. She was hosting a a celebration for her daughter, who'd graduated from the one school that places many grads at an Ivy League university. The daughter is valedictorian, and, of course, going off to an Ivy League school on scholarship. Quite the accomplishment, doubly so from here. Triply so once you realize this teen had to hoof it down to our house many times because their internet was out a lot during the Covid closures.
I said "Hail, hail, the gangs all here" when we arrived because there were folks we'd not seen in ages Mary Moonbeam. Jim was happy because he got to be social, including getting up to praise the grad. I was happy to sit back and observe.
Mary Moonbeam is someone that keeps popping up lately. I admit, I avoid her. Why? I remember an insano night reception launch party for a friend's business nearly four years ago and the chaos Mary sowed. Before that point I was friendly with her, after that night never again. I'm not ugly, I just avoid.
That night I was sick as a dog, still trying to adjust to the heavily mineral laden local water. Without being gross let's just say it was causing me stomach issues. I was in pain when I arrived, took one look at the punch and food served and realized much of it had things I was allergic to in it, so it was going to be a miserable not eating/not drinking time for me. Ended up ordering from the menu for food and drink separately, which is no big deal. I don't expect events to cater for my food allergies. I shrink back, and cope without mentioning it to anyone but Jim. I don't wish to offend.
Mary Moonbeam is something of a local flamboyant character. She's gorgeous, she's in her late thirties, and in the time I've known her she's always had to have the spotlight on her at every event. She pushes to the front and inserts herself. On Facebook she's always posting photos of herself in skimpy attire talking about becoming a supermodel soon. Did I mention she was a tad delusional too?
At one point a huge cake came out that night and was cut. Mary made herself into the self appointed cake slice passer outer, making sure everyone that received a slice heard that she hadn't eaten in six days, and was doing the breatherian diet for her soon to start career as a super model. All the while drooling on the cake. She and I were the only non cake eaters there that night. But not a soul knew I was in food avoidance mode.
That night I had a number of very bad things happen. Some teens playing football threw a spiral hitting me in the gut from the sidelines. Between that and my other gastric distress I ended up running for the restroom to throw up about six times. Vomiting and social events, so so classy!
It seemed every single time I had one hand clutching my stomach and another clutching my mouth as I scuttled at top speed to worship the porcelain throne Mary grabbed me by the arm and loudly proclaimed we needed to talk right then. I, turning shades of green according to Jim, said nothing and kept plowing ahead for the restroom.
By the end of the night Mary Moonbeam cornered Jim and wanted to know why I was being so rude and dismissive of her. This is after multiple puking rounds, and sitting at a table filled with folks eating including her, nibbling at crackers and ginger ale and not muttering a word to anyone at the table at all. I was trying not to be a buzz kill, to stay just long enough to say I showed up and supported our other friend. Getting hit by the football complicated everything and I should just have left quietly at that point.
Once I heard what Mary was telling everyone, ignoring the fact I was sick as sick could be I decided she was way too crazy for me to be more than surface friendly towards. What was up with the cake drooling? Eat the damn cake. So I've smiled and said not much more than hi and bye to Mary since then.
Last night at this party there were more foods and punch with allergic triggers in that I just didn't eat, and had a club soda and was fine with that. Mary was there, remarked to the hostess about my rudeness over not eating again, pointing out I'd done something similar at other events including the Little Theater recent fundraiser. Yes, she was there too, again pushing herself forward in crazy ways.
Hey El Stupido! Severe food allergies!
But that wasn't even the question I'm talking about here, this is a side ramble, and one I had to deal with when I navigate through parties, receptions, etc. The question I was asked by Mary involves church. As I was leaving she asked me if she'd see me at church today. I said no, a simple unexplained no. She wanted to know the why, I gave a bumbling fumbling answer about Covid and how I wasn't sure that the church was something I wanted to do. In retrospect I'm torn between saying because it's a toxic place that I'm not comfortable at, or simply that is none of her business. There's just not a good answer, and it felt like a set up from here. She wonders why I'm so quiet at gatherings. Because of shitty people.
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