Out of My Skin

 Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean with normally hidden rocks emerging from the ocean. Sort of like now for me.

I've popped a weird allergic reaction to a yeast infection treatment and it's physically making me miserable. I'm upset and jumpy over the future, worrying about all three of my kids, and, of course my husband. Feverish and suddenly asthmatic.

Several days ago I went b!tch monkey rogue on Twitter towards much of the Anti KJ community after some fringe people going real life on me. Family members of mine with zero connection to my writing life had started to receive real life harassment. I should know by now that if I feel that upset I usually have something health wise on the way. I likely should shut up, even if I meant every single word to spill from my mouth and fingers. Burned the bridge. the mofoing house and the barn down at the same time.

Today was hard because my husband is starting to freak out over what the doctor is saying about the surgery and treatment. I'm not surprised, not by how long the recovery will take, the high percentages of side effects that might happen after surgery and everything else to do with the cancer treatment. It's all well and fine, I know it's just going to take a few days to finish wrapping his mind around it. Right up until....

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..... he went to men's Bible study at his stupid church and some ignoramus was insisting Jim get "laser surgery". Ignoramus, having no real knowledge of the type of cancer Jim has, where it is, or anything else is insisting on Jim going back to the States for this vaulted laser surgery. Where Jim's cancer is makes it impossible for any sort of laser surgery. His growth is too big for it. It's not a good candidate for the radioactive seeding we'd originally discussed, merely because of where it is. If you do the radiation too close to the colon you add digestive tract problems into the mix. You try not to create more problems.

This was such a huge problem at our old church, just like at this same stupid non-denominational Evangelical church. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has an opinion about your medical care, and insists you use their favorite ridiculous treatment, rub your ass with sliced onions and black salve, or suggest something just not appropriate for your medical condition. They get pretty insistent and obnoxious about it.

During our old church Jim was dealing with kidney cancer. Dacron Danny, a twit at the old church, insisted Jim had to switch doctors because the urologist doing the kidney removal had done his vasectomy and Danny still had pain in his junk. Danny's pal Calum Cotton insisted Jim could not use the doctor because the doctor was one of those Jesus-killing not Christian Jews! It got stupid. None of them realized we'd already researched this to death, and took at look at the doctor's record. 

So when Tater MacGee this morning was blurbing on about lasers he didn't understand they do not use lasers to remove cancers in the prostate, just to enlarge the urine draining channel in mild to moderate prostate enlargement. I guess I should be happy Tater didn't start babbling about Jewish Space Lasers or whatever other conspiracy theory is making its rounds now.

On the way home this afternoon we spotting Gary, possibly the weirdest guy in Tama, the same one that claims we'd all be dead a year after getting Covid vaccinations. I usually roll down the window now and shout at Gary "Still alive X years and X months after getting my Covid vax, Gary!" just to see him pause with his fleet of stray dogs on leashes and puzzle out what I've said.

Did hear this very morning that the guy that had his phone number and appeal for a girlfriend on the back of his shirt is going back home to the States permanently. Last month Davey Jones departed. Getting quieter around here.