The Nature of Volcanoes

 

Arenal Volcano near La Fortuna, Costa Rica

A few days ago a psychologist I follow mentioned something about the nature of PTSD and CPTSD. Sometimes it  keeps showing up long after the original event and wrecking you. Thinking about that led me to volcanoes. Why? Well, with volcanoes it's not just the initial explosion that causes you harm, it's everything afterward.

I'm fortunate enough to live near volcanoes here in Costa Rica. There's several about an hour away, the biggest being Rincon de Vieja.  I've climbed Arenal Volcano several times now. Climbed Turrialba. I've seen the smoke and glow of  Poas from our hotel room near San Jose. Been up close and personal with volcanoes. Something I never dreamed I'd do when I grew up as a child in Louisiana, but I have.

It's not just that explosion that will get you, it's everything after will continue on the damage. I like to use the analogy that when a toxic person explodes on you. When it happens it can be like standing next to an active volcano. It's the lava they spew. It sticks, clings, and will continue to burn you until you manage to scrap it off. It can kill you. These toxic folks in our lives don't seem to realize that their words and actions are that lava, creating more damage as days/weeks/months and yes, even years go by. The lava (words) keep popping up in your mind and you find yourself just as injured as you were initially.

One of the biggest problems with these explosions and their resurrection in your mind is that the volcano is literally in your mind. Even if you've done work to get past the PTSD that darn volcano is still there, living and well in your mind. You're keeping it alive instead of dead and buried. You really don't want to keep living with your abuser.  Do you?

We tend to tiptoe around these volcanoes, waiting for the next explosion, looking for signs and portends of rumbling, escaping gas and glowing embers like those I saw from my hotel room recently, the unearthly glow reflecting on nearby clouds. You spend all your time trying to figure out how to circumvent explosions when you really just need to leave the volcano. No one should be staying in an abusive relationship. 

 

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