Other People's Money


 Farmland in Nicaragua

Remember I told you about the fresh faced well scrubbed young youth minister involved with ministry in Nicaragua. You know, the one that accidentally saw me nekkid on the day of nekkidness? The one that smelled like he'd been dipped head to toe in the worst smelling cologne of all time? Yeah, him.

A couple of weeks ago someone in leadership at Jim's new church asked Jim to head up the mission team to this young man's Nicaraguan mission. It's been rather overwhelming for Jim. I suggested he email the young man, ask all his questions about what to bring, what they needed, and the involved costs. He did, and oh lort! Oh my, oh my! This has turned rather strange.

Why? Squeaky clean youth pastor thinks the church and Jim are going to be showing up with 20K for a new education center replete with computers. Whoa! I asked Jim if anyone promised this young man the money and he says no. I just pointed out to Jim there are laws in place on how much money you can bring in and out of Costa Rica and this would certainly violate those rules! I'm not sure where the pastor came up with this figure, or who he thinks promised it to him!

While Jim napped this afternoon I ran the numbers that youth pastor passed along as the amount that each church member would need to pony up each. The expenses are padded and inflated at each step, from the amount he claims a PCR Covid test runs, to his doubling of fees to do the border crossing on foot. Add in inflated meal prices, paying the maid and the meal staff mixed with administrative fees and it's just not adding up. Whoa again! The pastor is trying to justify charging everyone nearly a thousand bucks for the week.

How bad is his inflation? Example. Returning to Costa Rica he has thirty dollars budgeted. How much does it cost? Four bucks, one dollar to enter the building (no kidding! This is a real fee!) and three dollars to exit Nicaragua. So what is the additional twenty six dollars for? No idea, no explanation at all.

But it was the childish prudery of the requirements to actually be on this mission trip that made me laugh the hardest. "No BOOTIES hanging out!!" and "No Bling-Bling!" were just two wee examples of the pearl clutching modesty culture pervasive through the rules. I think we're all adults here, the list of folks going are hardly likely to don bootie shorts and twerk around the mission in circles while licking the basketball poles.

He ended the emails with this bon mot "Nothing is impossible with God!" 

Including helping yourself to other people's money. And people wonder why I'm so incredibly cynical about religious organizations with zero oversight. They always spin into total control, weirdness and money shenanigans.

Church tomorrow is gonna be interesting.

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