The Sea is a Salty One

While doing my random round of reading Quiverfull blogs this morning I found this on Doug Wilson's blog: Oh Doug! That is not at all why people decamp to places like Belize and Costa Rica. It's not some sort of silly one-up-man-ship. It's not to show off. It's to have a better quality of life. It's the same reasons why people from poorer countries head to the United States. Likely why your ancestors took a boat from whatever white European country they arrived from. People want to live where they can be happy, without fear and with enough financial resources to live well. This is why older folks love Florida so much. Of course Doug makes it all about something stupid, trendy and counterculture. People want to be happy. It's as simple as that. I think Doug is just jelly-ousel, ooops, jealous. He's pushing a book about EvanJelly-fish, whatever they are. Today would not have impressed anyone, or made anyone jealous here. It was pretty miserable. I ran ...

I have a dear friend I love. He's one of the most upbeat and positive people I've ever met, sort of my opposite in that regard. But I worry about him sometimes, not just because he is relentlessly positive, like a real life Ned Flanders, but because he seems to accept everything at face value without question.. Example? He's one of many folks here who've written books about his experience moving here, and it's rather naive. He is naive, but he's a youth pastor and many times they live on a different mental plane as far as I can tell. One passage he wrote that water was so cheap here, that he paid his HOA only fifty bucks a month for the water bill. I had to put the book down and say "Huh?" when I read that part because we're on local asada water, and our bill runs something like eight bucks a month. My friend just accepts the Gringo Shuffle as the real price and real way things are done. I'm curious to see if he's going to change his mi...

The neighbor's cat is in heat. How do we know? Because she's friends with Stinky. We see them together along the wall first thing the morning. Now she's showing up at night, rolling on the ground and making those crazy seductive meows and assorted noises towards Stinky, who is just sitting and watching. She's so barking up the wrong tree. Stinky was neutered at 4 months. All that rolling and calling wasted. Just like the last couple of days here for me. Back still waxes and wanes. Wasted days and wasted nights. Or not wasted. Today I laid out in the sunshine and read. There are advantages to downtime. I'm finding a few of them. Jim brought dinner from a roadside stand. It was delicious and I didn't have to cook. Which is good because these last few days I've been thinking. Thinking about hideously hateful cultural enforcer Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife. Lori and I are of a similar age. We're of a similar socio-economic class. We both have co...

Last night I was talking to my friend Cindy about those jobs that were a pure joy in the past. The places I loved working at, that I couldn't wait to get up in the morn and go to work. Without a doubt the ones I adored had in common one big thing. A non-insane boss that knew well enough to allow me to do my own thing creatively, and not micro manage everything and everyone.  Plus some creative element.' I was thinking about that a lot because of how I struggle living in Costa Rica with having to sometimes be the heavy. I don't much care for either supervising people any more than I like being supervised heavily. Unfortunately you have to do that here. Like the tale of the three plumbers it took until they changed the wax gasket under the toilet right. I don't much like standing over the plumber and insisting they do it my way. Plus I'm not wild about the Tico Shuffle, that thing that many locals will do, try to squeeze the maximum dollar amount out of you becaus...

Today is shaping up to be a banner day of very bad decisions and laughter. Threw my back out all over again as I was starting to heal up by doing the dumbest of the dumb - putting on a back fastening bralet that requires gymnastics to get on. Man, am I stupid sometimes or what? Laughing my ass off. I have tasted the pain rainbow and it's not as fun as the Skittles one. But I felt better after seeing the travel photos of one of the Clonies. She's in South America and posted she about to climb, and I shit you not, "Machine Piakcu" Not sure if it's just autocorrect fail, or she's as stupid as me this morning. I think she means "Machu Picchu" Glad I'm not climbing it today.

Today I creeped around with my bad back.Not as bad as the time I threw my back out sneezing or taking off my swimsuit, but close. Spent large chunks of the day laying around glaze-y eyed on muscle relaxers. The engineer came and looked at the drainage issues and made recommendations. I didn't hear any of them because I was inside dinged out on drugs and pain. Told Jim I didn't care what it took to fix this, human sacrifice or strange and wondrous journeys to retrieve elves or magical rings. Just make it happen. He will. Or not. When I was lucid, not hopped up on pain pills and not watching my guilty trashy reality show pleasure (hello "Love After Lockup"!) I was toying with a Nigerian Romance Scammer. Years and years ago, when the internet was shiny and new, and dinosaurs still roamed the earth, and my boobs didn't suffer from gravity yet I had a hobby. A mean but fun hobby. Nigerian scam baiting. Here's my absolute favorite baiting story from 419eater...

Good thing the water is out. I did the living room, Jim did the kitchen. I ran out of furiously pissed off madness once the water was out. More work on the drainage, talking to someone that does water engineering tomorrow to make sure our plans for the drainage are the right ones. It's a good illustration of how things change once you chuck fundytown up onto the scrap heap of your personal history. Back in May 2000 our hot water heater came apart in the night and flooded the downstairs of our house to the depth of about two inches. Jim got up and went to work the next morning, coming upstairs to tell me there was 'a little spilled water' before departing. I got up that morning, splashing through the water, and had a meltdown. But being that I was still in trying to be a good submissive Quiverfull momma and wife I swallowed my ire at Jim. It took a full week to get all the water out of the house. Houses in the U.S. are such different construction than here. Here it...

Just dawned on my husband that I am nuclear voodoo doll raging like Donald Trump running out of Adderal pissed. He's currently in the kitchen using the squeegee. I did the living room, damn straight he will be doing the kitchen.

Today has just sucked and blowed at the same time. Around lunchtime today I got word that our bank in Tamarindo was robbed. Four guys in a white car rolled up, shot the security guard and robbed the place. In broad daylight! Downtown Tamarindo! How they managed a fast get away on the most farked up pitted road in the area I do not know. This news really shook me up. I know that guard all too well. A very helpful and kind guy Plus everyone else working in that building. We've spent many a long hour sitting in that lobby withdrawing money, buying CDs, paying bills and assorted other things. Here in Costa Rica you go to the bank to pay your car registration, your electric, water and cable bill and everything else. I can just imagine how frightening that must have been for Junior, Diego, and and the nice lady in the loan department. All the tellers. All my friends there. It's even more shocking because Tama is a lot like a small Southern U.S. town. Everyone here, Ticos, Ame...

A change is gonna come. Actually, it already is. The house of ill repute down the street changed names. Instead of a flashy sign in red and black feature images of sultry females dancing around a stripper's pole there's only words. A generic type touristy name along with the legend "Bar and Cabinas" in black and white. Hiding in plain site since everyone here knows what the high walled compound really holds. Three months ago they built a two story building right behind the bar, rather fancy with white stucco and another pool, and I wondered what was going on. Who would want to be sandwiched in between a whorehouse and an oil change place even if the house was beautiful and huge. I guess they've hit on a new way to make money, either with the girlfriend all night experience, or by making the guys too drunk to walk spend the night. Gonna make it awkward for me now. Instead of giving out the directions to my house for the many Tico repait guys and construction wo...

Or sometimes going along to get along is just not right. You need boundaries. We're doing the boring day to day stuff here now. Viewing property. Buying groceries. Doing endless errands. Getting the mower fixed. Watching the guys dig the new drainage system on the days it's not raining. And it's raining a lot now. October is misery in Tamarindo because it's near constant rain.f Because I'm stuck inside I am working on three different quilts. One with a Paris theme, one with cats and dogs and another floral. This morning someone popped up on Jim's Facebook, and mine, sending us both friend requests. Someone neither of us really want to befriend. The family member from Jim's family that has given us varying degrees of hell going back five or six years. I am reminded what happened when I worked at the Clinic of Crazy for some years. There were many times I swallowed my ire, smiled, accommodated what should never been allowed. Dr. M was foul mouthed and ...

Mr. Z must have sensed I had my inner bitch pants on. I was left entirely alone! Silence is freaking golden AND I didn't have to sing! Score! I shall have to celebrate with more delicious diet ginger ale in the pool.

Really freaked myself out around 6 am when I woke up. I tried to roll off the waterbed to go tinkle and discovered I was unable to stand and walk. So dizzy and off balance I finally had to grab a hold of the furniture, and walk hanging onto it to keep from falling. It was hard to balance enough to pee. Afterward I lay in the bed, careful to lay flat on my back just in case this was caused by the death like sleep I did in a weird position the entire night. Sinus gunk pouring into one ear causing this I thought. I could not get back to sleep, couldn't beat the feeling that I might puke. Awful morning creeping around nauseated and dizzy. It wasn't until Jim went out to go swimming while I was trying to fix coffee that it dawned on me what was going on. The music started outside and suddenly it was too much, like wasps in my brain while sunlight was stabbing the eff out of everything. Migraine day. Haven't had a migraine in four years, but that what this was. Because I ...

This morning was that particular frustration that a lot of ladies get to feel. When you are talking to men, you know what the problem is and how to fix it only to be patted on the head and told to go cook or whatever it is you do. Jim and Alejandro our contractor guy, were discussing what to do to stop the recent flooding from happening again. I point out I want a French drain around the lanai leading to the back wall. Jim says he thinks just putting more white rocks out will solve the problem. Alejandro said no, no, building a concrete block mini wall around the lanai and digging out a crude drainage route on the back wall was enough. Pointed out that more rocks will merely raise the water levels, that putting the Berlin Wall reproduction around the patio is unacceptably ugly and how the water isn't necessarily pooling in the back. I was pretty much dismissed as they continued on with cheap schemes to fix this. But I had the last laugh when Jim started digging and piling roc...

The mind is a funny thing. Every time in the past ten years when I've dealt with anxiety off and on for quite a time I end up having a dream. This dream is always about abundance. The first time I had it I was attempting to show my old pastor how much abundance was around us. Even time I'd open a bread box three loaves would tumble out instead of one or none. Every draw bursting with silver, napkins, and so many things before my eyes. Not in a chaotic way either, very orderly, peaceful and calming. Last night I had another version of the dream. The abundance dream seems to shift based upon what's going on. Last night's we'd had another house built, and I was living with friends in the mother in law apartment under the house while it was being finished. I remember strolling through the servants back hallway, being amazed at the drying racks, soap dishes and so many things, an abundance of met needs. It was beautiful, around every corner was even greater surprises a...

First this. Today's walk on Playa Grande. We stayed out way too long. It was very overcast and now we're both slightly red tonight. Jim ran into people he knew, and just like always talked a long time. I spent time communing with the log and the sea. Didn't walk much as I'm dealing with the dregs of this virus. I walked, I sat on the far tip of the log. What you cannot see here is that log was something like twenty feet long, just sitting in the path of the approaching high tide. When the wind started to buffet me about and the waves roughened I had a few moments of real fear. The big old heavy log started to move about like some sort of insubstantial twig in the water. Sometimes I need reminders of how helpless and insubstantial we all really are. How little we really control. I have a secret. For awhile, a long while if I'm being truthful, I've been dealing with some rather out of the blue free form anxiety. It predates the move here. I think it has...

Today we went with our friend Jose to look at mountain properties. Something suitable to build a smaller house than the one we live in. We went to southern Nicoya to look at lots in Hojancha and La Mansion. It was a wash. Very beautiful, but far too remote for us. No paved roads, no organized communities. I think our Jose, one of our many friends named Jose didn't know what the heck he was talking about. He is a builder but much of what he has built has been closer into San Jose. Learned that he's 50, never been married but has 8 kids, the first born when he was 13 years old! Clearly Jose is from a very different culture. On our way back to Tamarindo we took a side trip into an area near Santa Cruz we're been before. We'd just not been past the junkyard on this one road. It lead into a mountain community with plenty of reasonably priced vacant lots all with water, and electricity. We're seriously considering this place,  a several acre lot on the side of a mou...

One new thing has popped up. We're talking about buying another house. Actually, building a house, either  a cottage or a tiny home on a mountain top. We're going to look at mountain side lots on Monday. When we first started talking of moving to Costa Rica the idea was to have a beach house and a house in the mountains. We have the beach house and guesthouse, time to look into a mountainside custom home. What will we do with another house? Live in it half the time. There are times when Tamarindo is so filled with tourists its unpleasant. High season is late December to Easter. Why not decamp in those months? I don't know if we're rent out our house or not, but being mountain side on the hottest months that are the most crowded might be nice. Small and simple. I have no desire for a 3,500 square foot monstrosity to clean like our beach house. Last week in the guesthouse was lovely, and nearly just the right size. Small, but filled with the things I need like a batht...

About to go back to bed for the day, just like I did yesterday. The cold is morphing into an infection of some type with swollen lymph nodes so it might be a few days before I'm fully back. Not answering emails, not answering pms, not dealing with anything. Threw up a quick post on NLQ but not sure I even made any sense. There are days when I'm tempted to just shut everything down and leave the internet. This is one of those. Thank God Jim is back and knows how to microwave my chicken soup.

Once many years ago, when I was in my mid-teens I took a trip to Disneyworld with my father, my stepmother and my just out of toddlerhood step brother. I also took another trip. While the adults were off doing whatever it is adults do in Disney I was left with my step brother Frank. I hadn't anticipated this, just goofy family togetherness, and had taken a tab of acid. There I was, in Disneyworld, with Frank, tripping balls. Frank, being perhaps 3 or 4, got me to ride the 'It's a Small World' ride with him many times that afternoon. Tripping in the Small World exhibit with Frank. Today is part tripping, part just weird. I got up this morning to a missive from someone wanting to know my actual theology or lack thereof. I've gotten oodles of messages at NLQ, but this is my first "you may be going to hell if you believe wrong so I'm concerned" ones demanding to know my thoughts on God. My friend Bruce gets them all the damn time, and much less nice th...