Wrecked
Late yesterday and today have not been so good. I have developed some sort of cold and lung crud that involves some pretty disgustingly yellow ocher looking snot. There's just no pretty way to put it.
House dry and fully mopped. Will remop again tomorrow and keep doing the whole dehumidifiers, ac and bowls of cat litter around the feet of the furniture. My sewing machine table is a goner. It's an old press board cabinet that the original house owners had in the living room holding baskets of shells. It's soggy sawdust now.
But the real reason I've feeling wrecked is, surprise, surprise, church. Late yesterday I ran into sweet Maggie at one of the grocery stores. I've not talked to her in ages, I've seen her walking around town, like she does, waved, smiled and shouted "Hey girl! I miss you!".
I knew she'd been right up in the middle of the big church split. I knew no details other than the fact that she'd been asked to leave after supposedly demanding money from people in the church. I was not interested in the details, just knowing it was tragic all the way around.
That was not my experience with her, even if it has been with others there. Remember the couple buying the hotel and starting the remodel and running out of money? They've already gone bankrupt and are back in the States unsurprisingly. So happy we did not give them the 20K they were asking for. They were never going to make that tiny hotel work, high prices for tiny rooms not even within walking distance to the beach.
Two different church splits happened this year, one centered around Maggie that she is claiming is driven by another friend of mine. I don't know who is at fault, and quite frankly I do not care. I love them both. Whatever happened between them is just that, between them, even if I can observe that each of them played a part in what happened. Neither are completely innocent, and that's really okay. We are all human.
The other split was driven by Mr. Z. rich asshole upset he could not run the place the way he wants. Of the two I find the Mr. Z split the most evil and disturbing. Why? Well, with the other split you have two people who could not get along. It was obvious and out in the open. I personally think it was stupid, but sometimes people get on each others nerves. Lawd knows I've bitched about others stupidly here to amply demonstrate the point. But that's it. I am almost always over it by the time I have committed it to words here. Notice I said mostly. Mr. Z. is another story. I am cautious of him because I've seen what he's up to.
I keep short offense lists, and usually turn a deaf ear to moaning in the church. The less you know or pay attention to the better off you are.
The Mr. Z. split is more insidious because he's sneaking around, whispering behind his hands to others, causing others to leave, to dribble and drab away. He has started coming around about once a month, sitting there in the pews like a gleefully gloating poisonous toad coming to view the damage he has wreaked. A campaign of whispers, death via a trillion paper cuts.
He was there again this morning, but this time I did not even give him the chance to sidle up and say insulting crap to me. I slipped out the back door immediately after worship. I sang today because there was no one else, and I was honking, coughing, sweating and off key, I didn't need Z. coming over to gloat over my faults. I'm well aware of all the ways I completely suck. Least said, soonest mended.
Mr. Z. has been doing this almost a year now. I've tried several times to tell the pastor that Z. is deliberately trying to undermine everything he's doing, but he claims to have talked to Z. and everything is copacetic. I like the pastor, but he tends to me somewhat naive to evil I think.
And I think if I was some evil supreme being how would I go about it. I'd find someone very convincing, very self confident and have them conduct a secret whispering campaign. I am starting to think that evil looks so much more different than anyone in the church has ever been taught.
As for me I think the whole aim of the church should be to help others. I've listened to this song on repeat after talking to Maggie yesterday. She needs help. I think that helping others without expecting anything in return is the real gospel, not the exclusionary games played by others.
I may not be much of a believer, but I believe in meeting people right where they are.
House dry and fully mopped. Will remop again tomorrow and keep doing the whole dehumidifiers, ac and bowls of cat litter around the feet of the furniture. My sewing machine table is a goner. It's an old press board cabinet that the original house owners had in the living room holding baskets of shells. It's soggy sawdust now.
But the real reason I've feeling wrecked is, surprise, surprise, church. Late yesterday I ran into sweet Maggie at one of the grocery stores. I've not talked to her in ages, I've seen her walking around town, like she does, waved, smiled and shouted "Hey girl! I miss you!".
I knew she'd been right up in the middle of the big church split. I knew no details other than the fact that she'd been asked to leave after supposedly demanding money from people in the church. I was not interested in the details, just knowing it was tragic all the way around.
That was not my experience with her, even if it has been with others there. Remember the couple buying the hotel and starting the remodel and running out of money? They've already gone bankrupt and are back in the States unsurprisingly. So happy we did not give them the 20K they were asking for. They were never going to make that tiny hotel work, high prices for tiny rooms not even within walking distance to the beach.
Two different church splits happened this year, one centered around Maggie that she is claiming is driven by another friend of mine. I don't know who is at fault, and quite frankly I do not care. I love them both. Whatever happened between them is just that, between them, even if I can observe that each of them played a part in what happened. Neither are completely innocent, and that's really okay. We are all human.
The other split was driven by Mr. Z. rich asshole upset he could not run the place the way he wants. Of the two I find the Mr. Z split the most evil and disturbing. Why? Well, with the other split you have two people who could not get along. It was obvious and out in the open. I personally think it was stupid, but sometimes people get on each others nerves. Lawd knows I've bitched about others stupidly here to amply demonstrate the point. But that's it. I am almost always over it by the time I have committed it to words here. Notice I said mostly. Mr. Z. is another story. I am cautious of him because I've seen what he's up to.
I keep short offense lists, and usually turn a deaf ear to moaning in the church. The less you know or pay attention to the better off you are.
The Mr. Z. split is more insidious because he's sneaking around, whispering behind his hands to others, causing others to leave, to dribble and drab away. He has started coming around about once a month, sitting there in the pews like a gleefully gloating poisonous toad coming to view the damage he has wreaked. A campaign of whispers, death via a trillion paper cuts.
He was there again this morning, but this time I did not even give him the chance to sidle up and say insulting crap to me. I slipped out the back door immediately after worship. I sang today because there was no one else, and I was honking, coughing, sweating and off key, I didn't need Z. coming over to gloat over my faults. I'm well aware of all the ways I completely suck. Least said, soonest mended.
Mr. Z. has been doing this almost a year now. I've tried several times to tell the pastor that Z. is deliberately trying to undermine everything he's doing, but he claims to have talked to Z. and everything is copacetic. I like the pastor, but he tends to me somewhat naive to evil I think.
And I think if I was some evil supreme being how would I go about it. I'd find someone very convincing, very self confident and have them conduct a secret whispering campaign. I am starting to think that evil looks so much more different than anyone in the church has ever been taught.
As for me I think the whole aim of the church should be to help others. I've listened to this song on repeat after talking to Maggie yesterday. She needs help. I think that helping others without expecting anything in return is the real gospel, not the exclusionary games played by others.
I may not be much of a believer, but I believe in meeting people right where they are.
Comments