Rather Infuriated

Originally published back on May14th

I'm sick right now. If you have not picked that up from the piles of copious whining I've done over my asthma. Since January it's 5 to 10 vials of neb solution and enough assorted pills, potions, powders and creams to get everyone in my beach town high and greasy (asthmatic dermatitis).

The days with the most inhaled vials make for the nights with little or no sleep. Like last night. Pass out at 10 pm, sleep until midnight. Get up and do not get back to sleep until 4 am because all those nasty little vials of asthma meds are merely amphetamines, with all the resultant problems you get recklessly consuming speed. Sleep till 6 am, meaning I got the not nearly enough 4 hours in total.

Normally on mornings like these I stay in bed, decide to try to snatch a few more hours before arising, but I could not this morning. I had to arise, swill coffee, find something unwrinkled, unholey and unstained. Get dressed, do a little hair and makeup, and compose myself. Why? A certain video blogger I have known for quite some time had been asking me over and over to be on their YouTube video today.

I feel like three inches of iguana shit on a dirt road, but I do it. Because I honor my commitments. 

We'd have a meeting, scheduled a time and day. We'd discussed a topic we both know quite a lot about, that we both had sources and unnamed insiders whispering in our ears. This morning this was supposed to happen. I waited for the appointed time, too damn early, and it came and went. I waited some more, time I could have been lying down in sleep recovery mode, worried my asthma would prevent me from saying even a few words.

I start messaging the vlogger, and hitting her social media contacts. De nada. Nothing. And this was after her saying on her channel I would be on today.

Turns out she did to the video. Did the topic we discussed and still not a word to me.

Remember all my talk of users in this world? I knew she had that tendency. I've been dealing with her for ages, but I never dreamed she'd stand me up like that. I am done. It is bad enough when someone does something like this to you with no explanation, but to do it when you're horribly sick, worried about a pandemic, and treated like you're disposable while they routinely try to pump you for information is the worst. Suddenly I see why other video bloggers are trying to take her down.

There is so much more I could say, like how much she says she makes monthly from YouTube and about the allegations of her stalkers, but I've never played that game. It is just not me.

Thankfully the beaches reopen tomorrow and I'll be able to walk and pray. Too many awful user-y people out there. Mike was right. I have to formulate my response to her. Not looking forward to it.

Yeah, yeah, I know in the grand scheme of things this is small potatoes, but it's so disrespectful.

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