Wheezy and Greasy Power Ponderings With Cats
Last few days I've been riddled with asthma. Again. Big whoop. Meds. Whining. Lying around. I wish it would effing rain so this would end. January to now, almost every single day in physical misery. Add in immersing myself in that vat of Crisco like goop to hold down the asthmatic dermatitis and there you go. My effing entire existence now.
Which might be good for one thing. All the long messenger conversations I've been having with friends, and some family.
Who I refused to talk to - The ex family member that remarried days after the divorce, his new bride has attempted to friend me on social media. I rejected her, and I just do not get why she would do that. We don't know each other, and I hate that particular ex family member pretty badly. I have to wonder why. Is she going to try to pick my brain about him? Or is it just going so badly she wants to talk to someone that thinks he is a shithead? I am curious, but not curious enough to accept her friend request. I am guessing the marriage isn't going well.
Who I kept it short and sweet with.Those elderly aunts in area codes 504, 225 and 985, and others there. Checking in, making sure none of them has had a wreck involving drinking, or had any other neighbors die in murder suicide pacts lately. Just babbling over each other doings so it's all good.
Long talks with - many friends and my friend who was having a COVID related meltdown weeks ago, fighting with everyone and posting "NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS!" on all of his Coronavirus posts. I was right, sadly enough, there is something about this crisis that was triggering a return of his PTSD hard. He is having a very hard time of it lately. I don't care how many times you deal with the emotional triggers, how much therapy you've had, and all the work you put in towards recovery. There are just going to be those times when you will be triggered and hard by things happening around you.
He did say one thing that struck me as both sad and profoundly disturbing at the same time. He told me that I was one of the few people he knew that he was comfortable with because I had no agenda. I didn't try to use people to get ahead.
But that's just never been my modus operandi. I could not care one whit about power and trying to manipulate and game others to get ahead. I'd rather help others get ahead, and just enjoy my small sphere of influence filled with books, cats and people I love.
But isn't that true of most people, that they aren't trying to use others? I just had to ask him that. He claimed no, that almost everyone would use you. I don't know that I entirely buy that. Sure, everyone has quirks that drive them, most of the time they are unaware of it, but I don't think there are that many people that want to use you.
Maybe it just seems like there are so many to him because the users aren't very subtle about their naked power grabs in the era of Trump. But he's given me a great deal to think about now when I'm semi bedridden with books, my Sudoku book and the internet.
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