The Sea is a Salty One

Yes, that's a smoking volcano, that's Arenal Volcano. I made like a volcano and spewed this morning, sadly I did not spew ash! I know, I know, I haven't posted much, but much of life has been mundane and inane! The rains have arrived along with the ripe mangoes so the monkeys are living full time in our mango grove. Scuttling across the guesthouse roof, peering in windows, pooping in the pool. Every time I step into the kitchen to cook I do it with a watching howler monkey troop. I don't know why they thing that is so fascinating.  Yesterday I did something I never do. I ate processed foods and about equal to a smallish package of gummy bears. I felt weird almost immediately, but I was binging on a very bad new Netflix documentary series where it felt like everyone in the series save a few folks were just awful people. I was self medicating with small amounts of the stuff the husband always eats.  Never again! Going back to cleaner eating. The capper was waking up at 5a...

  The usual Sunday night place just in time for sunset. Been a very wild couple of days. Working on getting our passports renewed. Jim and I were forced to work as a team to fix the leak in our washer. Mix in that we've been social, too damn social for introverted me. Saturday night. We head off to the house of a local musician we know well. It's his 72nd birthday and there's a shindig at his house. I didn't know anyone there at first beyond the host and hostess, but that's okay, I love to people watch. I'm hobbling because my knee is still a problem, the band of muscles on the outside of it are strained and I've already been told its a long recovery time. It hurts, I deal.  After slipping out back to smoke a little of the devil's lettuce with the host I went back into a house to sit in the living room to people watch and rest my knee. I sat down in a living room filled with ladies of a certain age. One of them kept telling me I looked 'familiar'...

  Strike up the band! Sunday night at our usual hangout. I'm having symptoms that make me think there's something very wrong and different going on in my body. Yesterday I accidentally took a four hour nap while boiling potatoes and eggs for potato salad, got up around 7 pm and stayed up until 11 before crashing for about ten hours. On top of that my balance is much much worse suddenly and I'm having difficulties with my hands gripping things along with shaking involuntary muscle movements and crazy random pain. I guess it's time to go get a physical again. Starting to wonder if the doctor that thought I had MS might be right after all. I hope not, but I am not a happy camper about any of this! Yesterday in the middle of my moaning about my stupid body I decided to go get a few plastic things and casserole dishes from the local Walmart subsidiary, not actual Walmart as that is over an hour away. Noticing cleaning the guesthouse post visit that I really needed to add to ...

  Funny how different life can look a full week later! First, we finally heard from my husband's doctor and that one high marker in his prostate blood work apparently does not mean cancer, it's the last gasp of a body that had it's prostate removed. I am hoping he is right! Different week, man. Last Saturday morning I was sitting in my car weeping thinking the cancer was still there, listening to Glen Campbell singing "Rhinestone Cowboy" and feeling like I understood a lot of the frustration and lack of freedom in the song. I got home just in time to hear the good news. May it be so! Right now my youngest's child's best friend and husband are here. Sweet couple who've stayed with us before and are doing it again. This week has been running them around to get a rental car after making sure the guesthouse was immaculate. I had to do some appliance and linens replacement because of the guy that stayed 3 months last year, and ruined or disappeared certain ...

  Sunset last Sunday at Tamarindo Beach. I'll be there tonight for sunset yet again. Our Sunday night tradition! We're pretending to normality at the moment. Jim's bloodwork is not good. Likely he will be going back to the capital for radiation and chemotherapy. I am a mess. But I am pretending yet again. In several days my daughter's best friend and her husband are visiting. Their visit does not need our drama, plus I don't want to coming back to my daughter to tell her this isn't over yet. I love these kiddults too much for that.

Taken during my first trip to Costa Rica far south of where we are now. You know I was calm and copacetic thought all the tests, biopsies, and the actual cancer surgery this last six months or so. But it all fell apart on one day. The day my husband was rushing around our house pantless screaming he needed me to give him an enema. Right in front of my adult children who didn't need to see that mess! I remember rushing him, leaking enema juice everywhere back into the bedroom, administering two Fleet enemas before rushing out the door with my purse to take the kids to the airport so they could fly home. Yes, yes, I washed my hands first. This was the moment that just emotionally broke me. Not arguing with the hospital over insurance coverage, not seeing blacked tissue in the biopsy container going to the pathologist, not the troubles I hadd booking a hotel room during high season. But this. Since that time I've just been shaking and shaken.The only feeling I've had that even...

  A Turquoise Browed Mott Mott. It's a rare sight indeed because they usually lurk in the shadows and are notoriously shy. Taken this evening. Not much happening here. Starting to beat house back into great shape. Just need to mop kitchen and clean the laundry room and everything will return to pre-chaos clean that it was before Jim's surgery in late January. Finished submitting piles of stuff to the insurance company, finished taxes, finished cleaning our guesthouse. Nice thing about a messy house is it doesn't take much to put it back to rights again. Just a good hard scrub. Hung a new hummingbird feeder and we had something of a tizzy over the stuff you put inside. It came with a packet you boil with water and sugar. I did just that one night, resulting in some very red sugar water. I warned Jim not to drink it and we both laughed talking about the time David Rodrigues did just that and his wife Jill posted photos making fun of him for it. Not very submissive Godly wife ...

  About a week after we got back from the latest hospital confloption the wildfires got completely insane again. Sunset filtering through smoke near our house. Sort of apocalyptic looking. This week has kind of been hell. I was manipulated by a few people I used to respect, learning one of them was a terrible liar who'd played a game by using me as pawn piece. Another Judas in a sea of them apparently. They kind of broke my heart to a level I'd not experienced in quite a long time. I've been morose and moping as a result, and had to reevaluate if social media really is something I wish to participate in. Boundaries redrawn yet again. But today I started feeling a little better after talking to one of my dear older aunties. We've both been walking through an extended season of suffering. She pointed out that our old Catholic upbringing just primed us for introspection and emotionally beating ourselves up during Holy Week when we've already been in the valley for mont...

  Not a bad view, eh? Haven't been back to this restaurant in awhile. I've been busy trying to rescue my normal life from the wreckage and devastation of Jim's diagnosis. Getting back into the rhythm of life here. Almost finally on top of laundry and a few other things. Working my usual schedule like a fiend. I want normal, I crave normal and we're almost there. Jim's incision seems to be healing this time. They took out the stitches even. Yesterday for the first time since mid January he has been able to get into the swimming pool again. His total function below his waist hasn't fully returned yet, but there's hope. At least he's not peeing the bed any longer. Small tender mercies. Thankfully I'm not peeing the bed, not that I do because that's a solid no. But all of this just points out to me that money is worthless and so are possessions along with internet feuds, church battles and crazy unstable friends and enemies. Even when they provoke yo...

 It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a big metal bird in the skies of San Jose! Wish it was real and not quite so big. I love Scarlett macaws. Sometimes you see them in the trees throughout big parts of Costa Rica. I cannot go on and be as detailed as I might like because this last 14 days or so would read like the "Game of Thrones" series. Like George R.R. Martin I know I tend to be verbose. Street painting of a Macaw What happened: short story. Jim's incision opened. The sponge pump drainage system that we spent a week trudging back and forth to the doctor for wasn't working well. We ended up in San Jose at the better hospital that is our insurance's company's preferred provider facility.  This place:   View from my husband's hospital room replete with the vilely uncomfortable couch/bed combination I slept on the first night. Luckily a very worried relative showed up the next afternoon to drag me away to a nearby hotel and start making sure I ate...

  The chickens here haven't been smoking, but I'm tempted to...and I don't smoke. Ever. Couple of days ago, Jim started complaining about the fact that he's still oozing something, not quite blood, not urine. His bladder finally woke up and realized it had a real job to do and the random peeing ended. Not a moment too soon as I have a threadbare set of sheets and a twenty year old quilt so drab and faded it's been washed so many times on the bed.  Haven't even started on the linens in the guest house yet and it's been two and a half weeks! I'm slacking, stress, constant medical confloptions, peeing, the dying of my dryer, my back, the phases of the moon, voodoo doll making have distracted me! I have also been distracted from eye balling Jim's incision. He had the metal staples removed a week ago. He started asking me to take a look. I finally did and a three inch long section of his incision has opened up. Doctor said its open two inches deep. So he...

  Well, I am not from f*cking Memphis but its been this kind of a night and day. Last night Jim drug me to his church to the Valentine's Day dinner. I wasn't best pleased by this, but I went to keep the peace. Besides sometimes very amusing things happen. They did! The good: My favorite local math teacher greeted me in the food line by asking me if I was ready for 'authentic Mexican food'? As I told him I am always ready for authentic Mexican food. His tacos were better than any of the local taco places, even the expensive ones. The bad: I had to keep fending off folks that wanted Jim and I to take this poor old dog that was Velma's. I kept having to explain over the course of yesterday and yesterday evening anew to folks about my dog dander allergy. The ugly: Shortly after arriving one of the church members sidled up with the pastor a few mere feet in front of me and started trying to engage in him speculating over another member's possible wealth. Kudos to the...

  My chicken-y clucked up kitchen. Stuck there today washing beaucoup laundry. Jim got home on Friday evening in one piece. I did and did not come home in one piece. I drove at night, something I hate to do because my night vision isn't real good, and waiting in a secluded dark road. Jumpy until he got off the bus and into the car. However I did manage to drive there and back much better than I thought I might. Plus for an added bonus it was all 'No molestar!' and not one person hassled me at the bus stop. Then he proceeded to leak blood and urine over every surface in the house. Think I'm kidding? I have a dozen Walter White-style tighty-whities soaking in the laundry room! Apparently it takes a bit to get full functionality back in your urinary tract system. Here's the rub about everything that has happened. His wonderful talented urologist failed to warn us about the extent of these side effects. I endlessly read through everything on prostate cancer on websites ...

  A rooster coming up over our wall. This morning I dropped my husband Jim off at the Tamarindo Airport for a flight to San Jose and his doctor's office. Today is staple and catheter removal day! Praying it goes well. I hated missing it, but the asthma is bad, and I'm just emotionally wrung out by the last four months. Simple check up it's not essential I be there for. Per my kids demands he flew down on Sansa Air, and he's having to bus back in the sole bus line that runs through Huacas, the nearest town of any size near us. Airline had no available seats on the afternoon flights. I wanted to drive down, but my family threatened to fly down again if I did. I still think we would be fine, but.. a promise is a promise. Got such a kick out of the airport because the waiting area is open air like most of Costa Rica. A zinc wavy metal roof on metal poles over a scant few benches. What tickled me was the flock of chickens casually browsing through the waiting room. The airpo...

  The names in the title refer to a Chinese restaurant and the next door bakery that we pass on our way to San Jose. This is the Teatro Nacional across the street from our room in the Hilton. Too fancy for me~ Wow, I have to tell you that this has been two of the most stressful weeks in my life, from hobbling around to clean on my stupid ankle problems, all the way to recovery at the house with the husband after my family left. I'm not entirely kidding when I say the bedroom floor has had blood, sweat, tears, vomit, pee and worse on it in the last week. Our family arrived and it was off to San Jose, to the hospital that is a preferred provider for my insurance. The doctor's office fubbed up, no pre authorizations were obtained, nothing, de nada, nyet! I spent a very borderline sweary sweaty hour clearing it up, and the surgery took place once I put 80% of the surgery on my AmEx as a downpayment in case the insurance company denied it. We were told the surgery was one to two hou...

  View from our San Jose hotel room, a strange place with a frosted glass shower and toilet area which assured everyone in the hotel room viewed your junk when you showered or tried to use the toilet. Go figure! I do want to talk about our time in San Jose with the surgery, but it's an involved tale with lots of moving parts for another day. Some of them fecal-covered moving parts. Today I wanted to rant about something that's going to make me struggle not to be an ugly twat-waffle to the pastor of my husband's church and those who are part of the men's group tomorrow. Why? Read on dear one. Just over a year ago my husband had a rupturing gall bladder removed, and I encountered that same awful thing that used to happen at my old toxic Evangelical non-denom church. Church members being ridiculously buttinski during medical situations, planned or emergency. I ended up taking my husband's phone away from him and shutting it off until after he got out of the hospital. H...

  Raining or tears? Same thing? Oh man, I have yelled and cried already this morning and many times yesterday. Just got off the phone with several hotels in the San Jose area, all I've stayed at, after a fruitless week long discussion in email about the reservations. I made the mistake of calling, 17 times to the hotel of choice, hung up on, endlessly shunted around, until I finally got a guy who said they were booked solid. I went to their website and saw that was not exactly true. A truism in Costa Rica is if you are dis-conveniencing a Tico in a business situation they will suddenly tell you something false to get you off the phone. Experienced this many times. I blame the rise of the American Karens for this! I booked online, I could not get two rooms for my kids but I did score a room with enough beds for everyone. Crazy tourist season pricing too. If they are pissed off about the lack of space I will be staying in the hospital and leaving them the room. Yesterday I was doing ...

  It's hot! It's grapefruit season again with my tree in front of the window loaded down with the ripe fruit. Every afternoon is a loud raucous parrot party in the tree top. They love ripe citrus. In the past week things have finally shaken out. Jim picked surgery, the thing recommended by our doctors as his poison du jour instead of radiation and/or chemotherapy. I am glad. He does not decide things quickly. Surgery on Friday. Once he had a surgery date I swung into action letting various family members know. We start picking them up on Wednesday at the local airport before driving late Thursday into San Jose for the surgery.  Tomorrow I finalize hotel arrangements. I had to wait to hear how many days Jim will be in the hospital. I'm going to try and book again at Balmoral. Weird name, beautiful hotel. Closest to the hospital and on that lovely pedestrian mall where I can consume gallons of Starbucks. I understand why we're having visitors then. Family members are worr...

  Snow walking with Kiki. I miss him so much! Friends of mine complaining about this winter storm. It's not the dreaded Snowmageddon but its close from the looks of it. Makes me miss the best part of winter, that first really hard serious snow. It would kill all the mold and tamp down dust. I would go out for a long tramp outside in the snow at midnight because I could breathe all the way down to the bottom of my lungs. My kitty Kiki would join me, even if the snow was more than a foot deep. We'd trot along in a beautifully frozen world without a single soul stirring.