Whining Ingratitude



When do you run out of patience with people?
Sadly too soon. It's all too easy. Last night there was a large beetle, big, black and shiny, that I saw futilely flipped upside down. Legs waving in the air, finding no purchase. I turned him right side up about a dozen times, just to see him flip over again within seconds. I'm not sure if there was something wrong with him, or if it was sheer cussedness mixed with confusion. He was dead by morning.

I get up and watch a friend struggling with serious issues complaining that someone at the food bank gave her food she does not like, and I have to think she's like that silly bug. I keep seeing her shooting herself in the foot, refusing to get off her back, making no attempt to help herself and demanding to be taken care of, yet eager to deride any type of help anyone tries to make. She does not understand that there are hard people out there, some connected with another church, that don't want to help anyone now because they fear everyone will turn demanding and ungrateful.

Its a hard path, trying to figure out if helping someone is just enabling them or doing any good. Not everyone making demands of you are your responsibility. Don't give unless you can afford to lose whatever it is you are giving, time, money, attention.

The true hard lesson that life has taught me almost since I was a small child is that the only person one can really count on is yourself.  It's better not to have expectations so that when someone does something unexpected you are filled with gratitude instead of attitude. Take care of your own emotional needs and physical needs first because you're no use to anyone if you're drained, and left by the side of the road.

This is doubly important if you inhabit that difficult world of chronic illness. No one will prioritize your needs, so you must do it.

All day I've been watching the demands and claims of someone else, someone with entitlement issues, wanting to control everyone around her. She operates from an expectation that this internet world owes her attention, super chats and money. She's not one big grateful for any of it, and like my former friend above thinks that the world owes her this. Not so. We owe her nothing.

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